Insults

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How to be Insulting Abroad: Insist on paying for everything in sterling.

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You know you're getting fат when you say you're fат in front of your friends and nobody corrects you.

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God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you, Неll, everyone makes mistakes.

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I'll never forget the first time we met, although I'll keep trying.

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You're so fат you're the reason why the Earth is tilted.

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Insult: If you were any dumber, your head would implode.
Response: If you were a little bit more intelligent you'd still be sтuрid.

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A man and woman were having sеx. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies,
"Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

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How do you leave a jаскаss in suspense?
Don't know. I'll tell you tomorrow

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China... Austraila.. New zealand... South africa is fighting who has the best stuff
China says they have the biggest wall
Austraila says they have the best grass
New zealand says they have the best flag
South africa says they have the springbuck .. He jumps over the wall ... Shiтs on the grass... And wipes his аss with the flag

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I hear you are very kind to animals, so please give that face back to the gorilla.

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Who is the poorest guy in the south?
The Tooth Fairy.

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You're lucky mirrors don't talk, or laugh for that matter.

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Well, they do say opposites attract. So I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

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I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

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This is Ima Singin, I am really offended by this joke.
There is Sum Ting Wong with your sense of humor if you think thats funny

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You're so ugly, your husband takes you with him everywhere he goes, so he doesn't have to kiss you goodbye.

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You've got the perfect weapon against muggers. Your face.

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If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say "Hi" to people. I'd say "BOO!"

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