Little Johnny

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular
One evening, Little Johnny, his brother Little Jimmy, and their father, Big Jimmy John, sat down to eat supper. Big Jimmy John turned to Little Jimmy and asked, "Little Jimmy, what would you like to eat first?"
To this Little Jimmy replied, "I want some of them fuскin' peas."
In a flash, Big Jimmy John slapped the shiт out Little Jimmy.
"Now what did you want to eat first Jimmy?" asked his father.
I want some of them fuскin' peas," said Jimmy.
Big Jimmy John then back handed Little Jimmy clean out of his chair and half way across the room.
Little Jimmy shook it off and promptly returned to the table where his father once again asked, "Little Jimmy, now what would you like to eat?"
Once again Little Jimmy responded, "I want some of them fuскin' peas!"
Furiously, Big Jimmy John snapped, savagely beatting Little Jimmy, leaving him bleeding and unconcious on the kitchen floor.
Returning to the table, short of breathe, and trying to regain his composure, Big Jimmy John turned to his other son Little Johnny and calmly asked,"Well Little Johnny, just what would you like to eat first?"
Little Johnny, glancing at his brother on the floor, turned back to his father and quickely exclaimed, "Well you can bet your sweet аss, it ain't none of them Fuскin' Peas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
0
There was this little boy who had no name.
One day he went outside and heard someone say Jonny.
He then tells his mother his first name would be Jonny.
The second day he goes outside and hears the name Humper.
So, he tells his mother his middle name was going to be Humper.
The third day, Jonny goes out and hears the name Harder.
Then, he tells his mother his full name shall be Jonny Humper Harder.
Jonny goes out one day with handful of cookies.
He sees this girl around his age and asks her if she would be willing to take off her shirt for a cookie.
The little girls says that she would take off all her close for all of Jonny's cookies.
Jonny gives her the cookies and the girl takes off all her clothes.
Hours later, the towns people all run up to them in the middle of the street and they cry, "JONNY HUMPER HARDER!"
Little Jonny yells, "I'M TRYING, I'M TRYING!"
0
0

1
Домашно Hay que llevar a la vaca con el toro вовочка опоздал в школу. учительница интересуется причиной... Иванчо В класната стая: Joãozinho chegou esbaforido e todo sujo C'est un mec qui se promène à la campagne Padre recém chegado na paroquia do interior encontra na estrada uma menina de uns seis anos Ögretmen sinifa geç gelen ögrenciye: -neden geç geldin oglum der -bizim inegi damizlik bogaya götürdüm hocam. der çocuk -o isi baban yapamazmiy di? diye sorunca ögretmen Jantje komt te laat op school en zegt: "Ik moest de stier wegbrengen om een koe te dekken." Onderwijzer Certo dia na roça Сільська школа: — Петре! Ти чому вчора в школі не був? — Та ми з батьком корову до бика водили. — А що Трпе зошто не дојде вчера на школо? - Морав да ја носам кравата кај бикот. - Зарем татко ти не можеше тоа да го направи? - Па можеше
0
0
0
0
0
0
Иванчо се прибира от училище:
0
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Сhrisт because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth.
He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc.
So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He’s in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered, "He’s in my heart."
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response.
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds.
He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
And Little Johnny said, "Well… every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Сhrisт, are you still in there?'"
0

0
0
großes Grab Το χρυσόψαρo Неделя сутрин Малката Виктория вече закопаваше дупката под дървото в градината Маленька дівчинка закопує ямку в пісочниці. Сусід Маленькая девочка закапывает ямку в песочнице One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard. The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate. Вовочка был в саду и закапывал какую-то ямку Mariazinha está cavando um buraco no quintal Un hombre encuentra a su vecino cavando un hoyo en el patio y le preguntó: - Hola vecino Une petite fille creuse un grand trou dans le jardin familial en pleurant a chaudes larmes. Le voisin Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole. The next door neighbor saw him and asked; "Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?" "My goldfish died Petit Tom était dans le jardin entrain de creuser un trou quand son voisin le dévisagea au-dessus de la barrière. Intéressé par ce que faisait le jeune effronté Mała Zosia siedziała w ogrodzie zasypując dołek Lille Johnny er i gang med at grave et stort hul ude i haven da naboen kommer forbi og spørger hvad han laver. - “Min guld fisk er død så jeg begraver den” siger johnny. - “Så stort et hul behøver... Um sujeito estava no jardim de sua casa quando vê o vizinho De var en gång en liten pojke som satt bakom hans hus och grävde en grav till hans döda guldfisk då tittade den nyfikna grannkärringen fram över staketet och sa: - Vad gör du? - Jag gräver en grop... Kalle höll på att gräva en grop i sin trädgård när granntanten tittar över staketet och säger: - Hej Kalle! Vad gräver du för något? - Min guldfisk har dött och jag ska begrava den. - Men är inte... Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson Une petite fille creuse un trou avec sa pelle. Le voisin l'aperçoit et lui dit: - Qu'est-ce que tu enterres là? La gamine One day little Johnny is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor - Mit csinálsz Marika? - Gödröt ások Morguh Jenny! Wat ben je aan het doen? Mijn goudvis is dood dus ik begraaf hem Haha
0
0
A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sеx education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sеxuаl innuendo.
But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture.
Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sеx education from the class.
One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs." "Very good, William," cooed the teacher.
"My mommy had a baby," said little Esther.
"Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher.
Finally, little Johnny raises his hand.
With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him.
"I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns."
The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sеx education, Johnny?"
"It'll teach those Indians not to fuск with the Lone Ranger."
0
0