A guy driving a small car pulled up to a stop light next to a luxury car. He rolled down his window and shouted to the other driver, "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a Hi-Fi sound system in your car? I've got a Hi-Fi sound system in my car!"
The driver of the luxury car looked over and said snobbishly, "Yes, I have a Hi-Fi sound system."
The driver of the small car said,
"That's great man! Hey, you got a TV in there? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my car!"
The driver of the luxury car, quite irritated by now, replied, "Of course, I have a television. My car is is one of the finest cars in the world!"
The driver of the small car said,
"Yes, a very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there? I got a bed in the back of my car!"
The driver of the luxury car, upset that he did not have a bed, sped away and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered a bed to be installed in the back of his car.
The next morning, he returned to pick up his vehicle, and the bed looked superb. It came complete with silk sheets and a brass-trimmed headboard. It was clearly a bed fit for a luxury car.
So the driver began searching for the small car. He drove around all day and finally found it late that night. It was parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside.
He got out and knocked on the window of the small car. When there wasn't any answer, he continued knocking and knocking until finally, the owner lowered the window, and stuck his soaking wet head out.
"I now have a bed in the back of my car," the driver of the luxury car stated arrogantly.
The driver of the small car looked at him narrowly and said,
"You got me out of the shower to tell me THIS?!?!"
A man came into a shop with a ‘Salesman Wanted’ sign in a window.
He went up to the owner and said, “I-I-I w-w-waannn-t the j-joooob-b.”
“I don’t know if this job would suit you because of your speaking impediment,” said the owner.
“I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife and s-s-s-six k-kkkids, iiii-I re-really neeeed thi-thi-this j-j-job!” said the man.
“O. K. Here are three Bibles. Go out and sell them.” said the owner.
So the man went out and came back an hour later.
“H-here-sss your m-m-money.” said the man.
The owner was impressed, so he gave the man a dozen more Bibles and sent him out.
The man came back in two hours and said, “Her-ers y-yooour m-m-money.”
The owner said, “This is fantastic. You sold more Bibles in three hours than anyone has sold in a week. Tell me, what do you say to the people when they come to the door?”
“W-welllll,” said the man, “I r-r-ring the d-door веll, a-a-and s-s-say ‘H-Неl-Hello, M-m-maaaaddam, d-d-do you w-w- want t-t-t-to buy thi-thi-this B-B-Bible, oooor d-d-do y-you w-w-want m’me t-toooo read it t-t-t-t-to you?
A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
Three identical parrots in a cage.
He asked the clerk, “how much for the parrot on the right?
The owner said it was $250.
“$250”, the man said. “Well what does he do?
“He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000,
Responds the clerk. “He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of
Your letters.”
The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, $500, but he not only knows Office 2000, but is an
Expert computer programmer.
Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, “$1,000.”
Curious as to how a bird can cost $1,000, the man asked what this bird’s
Specialty was.
The clerk replies, “Well to be honest I haven’t seen him do anything.
But the other two call him ” Team Leader “!!