A man went into a bar in a high rise.
He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out.
He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar.
As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more.
Finally the man asked if he could have a pill.
The flier said it was his last one.
The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars.
The man said that it was all he had on him.
The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar.
The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death.
The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, “You sure are mean when you’re drunк, Superman.
Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air.
He got out, and started walking in a meadow.
As he walked, he came upon a hole.
Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down.
No sound.
So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound.
The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down.
No sound.
As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam.
He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in.
No sound.
He sat down on the ground, exhausted.
Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed.
He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole.
He listened, but there was no sound.
He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up.
The man asked him, "How deep is this hole?"
The farmer said,
"Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends.
Say, have you seen my prize goat?"
The man, not wanting to get the blame, said,
"No." The farmer said,
"Oh well.
He can't get far. He was tied to a railroad beam."
Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.
When an old Grandpa walked by.
And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We BET we can tell exactly how old you are.”
The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.”
One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can!
Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.”
Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers.
The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.
Then they all piped up and said, “You’re 87 years old!”
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, “How in the world did you guess?”
Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison…
“We were at your birthday party yesterday!”