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Men-Women jokes

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Men approve of premarital sеx until daughters are born.
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How are airplanes and women alike? They both have cockpits.
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A girl never comments on another unless she's jealous.
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Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
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A woman is like a well-served table at which a man looks one way before he eats and differently after he ate.
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What's the most common sleeping position of a man? Around.
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A honeymoon couple are lying in bed when the husband says, “Honey, let's get busy.”
She replies, “Wait until the spirit moves me.”
Five minutes later he asks again she says, “Wait until the spirit moves me.”
Ten minutes later, the wife says, “Honey the spirit moved me.”
The husband replied, “Let the spirit f**k you. I just jacked off”
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What's the worthless piece of skin hanging off the end of a реnis? A man.
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[My sister] goes, 'You know what your problem is, Karen? You think like a man.' So I said, 'I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.' And then I made her smell my socks.
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I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported.
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Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
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How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."
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A family went to a nudist camp for their vacation.
The young son came back to the tent and said,
"Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..."
"Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman."
Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..."
"Yes, well, like I said, the вiggеr they are, the dumber the man."
"Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom."
"Why, honey?"
"Because Dad's out there talking to a really sтuрid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."
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What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man? The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them.
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The best reason to divorce or break-up with a man is for health reasons you're sick of him.
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I'm taking the classes at my gym. First week, I got hooked: Tuesday, I took yoga; Wednesday, pilates; Thursday, I took total body conditioning; Friday, I woke up, and I was gаy.
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Weak men have a lover, strong men - three.
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I never really wanted to work. I blame this whole working craze on the feminists, that's who I blame it on. I don't know who put them in charge. Ladies, I hope you realize we could be at home, resting, right now, if it wasn't for their аssеs.
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