Nationality

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I was doing some musical research, and I found out it was actually white people that came up with rap music. Only, they call it square dancing.

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The Japanese prime minister came out a couple months ago and said all Americans are lazy and overpaid. Yeah, is that a bad thing? That's why we live here.

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Pulls me over, he goes, 'Do you know why I pulled you over?' I go, 'Because I was speeding?' He goes, 'Nope, because you're black. Don't you read the papers?'

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Superman was Italian. Oh, sure he was. I'll give you the proof. What happens whenever there's trouble? What does he do? Runs to a phone booth and makes one phone call.

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They invented a dance where they wouldn't spill their drinks is what they did.

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Remember 'E. T.'? Long-necked, big-eyed alien comes to this country, and they want to keep him here. How come when our illegal aliens come, they want to send them right back?

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Don't orange alert me. We don't know what orange alert is. If you're going to alert me, make me do stuff. 'Lock your top lock' -- I'm all over that. 'Fill your tub with water' -- excellent. But don't mention duct tape to me, because that's weird. That tells me you don't know what's going on.

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This country would suск without black people. Football would be all slow.

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Q.: What's the difference between Germans who are computer illiterate and Germans who are computer whizzes?
A.: In Germany, computer illiterates say, "Guten Tag," whereas, computer whizzes say, "Guten Toggle."

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The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?

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While being transported to basic training, a new enlistee of the Air National Guard accidentally opened a parachute in the rear of the C-47.
The plane was piloted by a major and a captain, and the new enlistee felt intimidated as he opened the cockpit door to confess what he had done.
Expecting to be severely chastised, he was surprised by the captain's calm response. "Well, son," he said,
"If this plane goes down, that chute is yours."

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Michael Jackson did a tour in Ethiopia. He's in Ethiopia, singing to the Ethiopians, 'Sing with Michael, side to side, hee hee hee!' And these Ethiopians are looking at Michael Jackson, thinking, 'Look at that fат ваsтаrd.'

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If I was in charge, I would not have the Olympics in our country anymore. Don't let the whole world come here and see our stuff. It just рissеs them off.

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The National Health are considering the use of untested new drugs in their fight against aggressive cancer.
Patient groups have said “This is TOTALLY unacceptable.”
Impatient groups said “Fсuкing hurry up.”

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An indian man was walking down the road when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell to the ground. And ambulance was called and within minutes the ambulance arrived. The victim was taken into the ambulance and it sped off. In the ambulance the victim being a religious man started to repeat "hari om, hari hom, ari om"
The ambulance drove as fast as it could siren sounding and lights flashing. Finally it arrived! They took the victim down and pushed him to the door and rang the doorbell. A woman appeared and was shocked to see her husband on stretcher and inquired what happened. The medical officer explained what happened to her. She screamed," why didn't you take him to the hospital!?"
The medical officer explained, " we tried too but he kept repeating "hurry home hurry home hurry home'. So we took him right to his home.'
The wife was furious and exclaimed, "you idiот! He was praying our hindu prayer "hari om hari om!'

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Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy -- if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.

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I think my favorite hero from that era would have to be Rosa Parks. I love her, and she has been a huge source of inspiration in my life, basically because she was able to galvanize an entire nation simply by not getting up.

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White people, let me here you say 'Okey-dokey.' Let me here you say, 'E-I-E-I-O.' Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

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