Newest jokes

What eats a lot of iron and yet has no digestion
Issues?
Rust.

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Question: Can somebody who lives in New York be
Buried in New Jersey?
Answer: No, he still lives.

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Question: In what sort of glass should you never pour
Expensive wine?
Answer: A full glass.

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Our Funniest Riddles

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My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary.
Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup.
And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!

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A man noticed his credit card has been stolen - but he never reported it because the thief was still spending considerably less than his wife. What is yellow and can’t swim?
An excavator.
Did you find it funny?
No.
Neither did the excavator operator.

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I’m certain there are female hormones in вееr. When I drink too much, I talk nonsense and I cannot control my car.

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Question: I have an extra-large nose, three eyes and thirty teeth. What am I?
Answer: Ugly

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A detective asks a woman, "So, your husband hanged himself?"
Woman replies, "Yes, that is correct."
The suspicious detective continues, "But why does he have all those bruises on his head?"
"The old fool used an elastic rope!"

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Who’s there?
The love of your life.
Liar! Chocolate can’t speak!

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Woman calls the police:
“Is it the police I'm with.”
Police officer:
“If you are with the police why would you call here?”

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Police, Policemen, Cops and Law Enforcement jokes | Corny Jokes

Question: Why is it so much fun to ride a train with a teacher?
Answer: He says spit out the gum and the train goes chew chew.

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School jokes, Teacher Jokes | Corny Jokes

2 mosquitos are about to suск a sleeping man. Suddenly one of them says to the other:
“Hang on, something flew in my eye.”

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Chuck Norris hasn't filled his gas tank in decades.
His car drives on respect.

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Chuck Norris is so manly, even his chest hair has chest hair.

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Chuck Norris has his own joke category.

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Chuck Norris is still getting updates for Windows XP.

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Chuck Norris actually solves problems with the
Windows Troubleshooter.

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