An 80-year-old millionaire becomes engaged to a beautiful 22-year-old model. He goes to his doctor for a checkup a couple of weeks before the wedding date.
The doctor looks him over and says, “Bill, you seem completely healthy but I must tell you one thing.”
“What’s that?”, asks the millionaire.
“At your age, sеx can be dangerous, and you need to watch it, take care, it could be really deadly” the doctor replies.
Bill thinks for a minute and then says, “What the hеll, if she dies, she dies.
A general store owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong раnтiеs. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt [or general lack thereof] and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea.
“Id like some raisin bread please”, the man says politely. The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he surmised he would be.
Once she descends the ladder he muses that he really should get two loaves as he’s having company for dinner. As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices whats going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon each male patron is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down.
After many trips shes tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to have to try this bread for herself!
Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, “Is yours raisin too?”
“No,” croaks the old man “… But its startin to twitch.”
Mable and Faye are sitting in their retirement home discussing the little old men who lived there.
Mable says, “I sure am lonely since my husband died…I wish I had a boyfriend, but am not sure how to catch the attention of the geezers around here”.
Faye says, “These gentlemen are lonely also, and many haven’t had any romance in their lives for decades. I bet if they thought they could get a kiss you’d have their attention”.
So Mable starts walking the halls, and comes to the first room and knocks. A little old man answers, and she says “I’m offering up super kisses, you interested?” but he replies, “No thanks” and shuts the door.
She doesn't get discouraged, and heads to the next room. “I’m offering up super kisses, you interested?” but again, this man is not interested. This continues for several attempts, and when she finally gets to the room at the end of the hall again she knocks. A little old man answers the door.
“I’m offering up super kisses, you interested?” she asks. He replies, “I don’t want a kiss, but I’ll take the soup”.