One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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The man who hated fake politeness was so renowned, when he died they preserved him in formality hide.

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SCUBA enthusiasts. Now there's a divers group of people.

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“The butcher asked if I wanted my meat measured in pounds or kilograms. I said either weigh would do.”

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A blonde was filling out a job application form. She quickly filled out the columns entitled: Name, Age, Address, etc. Finally, she came to the column: Salary Expected. She wrote, "YES."

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"You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.'" -- Craig Ferguson

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What's the difference between a skunk in the road and a lawyer?
The skid marks are before the skunk and after the lawyer.

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A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

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“Sawbones is what happened when the doctor looked at the X-ray.”

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A witness was called to stand to testify about a head-on automobile collision.
"Whose fault was this accident?" the lawyer asked.
"As near as I could tell," replied the witness, "they hit each other at about the same time."

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?The green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.

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Did you hear why they closed the Kingdome?A: While the crowd was doing the wave, two blondes drowned.

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People with bad handwriting are actually more intelligent. They tend to be very no legible.

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Where can you buy alligator steaks? At a swamp meat.

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Friend:
"What are you going to give your mother-in-law for Christmas?"
Me:
"Her son back!"

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What do you say after making a video-game joke?
“No pun Nintendo'd!”

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While out on the town, the wine lover had diarrhea and had to chardonnay cab.

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Those with oozing pimples tend to have secretes.

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Some things may be temporarily broken. Please stand by!

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