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I Got A New Deodorant Stick Today. It Says Take Top Off And Push Up Bottom. I Can Hardly Walk, But When I Fаrт The Room Smells Lovely
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I pulled up next to a woman driver at the traffic lights today and shouted at her, “Hey! Don’t you know how to use your fсuкing mirrors?”
“Yes, of course I do!” she snapped
I replied, “Well, try using one to put some make-up on before you go out in public, you ugly сunт!”
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Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
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- Je vous serais reconnaissant
Влегува Цветко во продавница
Bemegy egy fickó a benzinkút shopjába és vesz egy doboz cigarettát. Kifizeti
Inne på en affär: - Ursäkta
A guy went to a supermarket and began to smoke.
Miss salesman: "Sir don't smoke here."
Guy: "I've just bought the cigarettes from here."
Miss salesman: "We sell condoms too; so that is not why you fuск me here."
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I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
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If I'd shot you sooner, I'd be out of jail by now.
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The Bachelor's Life
La chica de la lasaña y el cajero gracioso
Single?
Момиче пазарува в магазина и на касата:
Жена пазарувала в супера. Докато оставяла нещата на лентата един пияница се приближил
Una chica entra en un supermercado y compra lo siguiente:
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk
Uma mulher passava as compras no caixa de supermercado percebeu que um bêbado examinava detalhadamente seus itens de compra: * 2 caixas de leite integral * 1 dúzia de ovos * 1 litro de suco de laranja * 1 alface americana * 1 kg de café; e * 1 pacote de bacon fatiado. Enquanto o caixa registrava
A woman went shopping. She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk
Een vrouw ging naar de winkel waar ze de volgende spullen kocht : * 1 liter melk * 1 doos eieren * 1 liter fruitsap * 1 pak koffie * 1 ons ham * 1 doos Cup-a-Soup Terwijl ze haar...
A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs
En pige lægger sine varer op ved kassen: 1 tomat
En pige vader ind i et supermarked
A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 apple 1 banana 1 orange 1 plum 1 peach 1 grapefruit 1 tomato...
En kvinna kommer in i affären och köper lite saker
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
1 can of Soup For One
1 16oz can of Miller Lite
The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?"
The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?"
He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”
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Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?
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Actually, I don't think you're dyslexic; just really, really sтuрid.
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The Bachelor's Life
La chica de la lasaña y el cajero gracioso
Single?
Момиче пазарува в магазина и на касата:
Жена пазарувала в супера. Докато оставяла нещата на лентата един пияница се приближил
Una chica entra en un supermercado y compra lo siguiente:
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk
Uma mulher passava as compras no caixa de supermercado percebeu que um bêbado examinava detalhadamente seus itens de compra: * 2 caixas de leite integral * 1 dúzia de ovos * 1 litro de suco de laranja * 1 alface americana * 1 kg de café; e * 1 pacote de bacon fatiado. Enquanto o caixa registrava
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving of cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner 1 can of Soup For...
Een vrouw ging naar de winkel waar ze de volgende spullen kocht : * 1 liter melk * 1 doos eieren * 1 liter fruitsap * 1 pak koffie * 1 ons ham * 1 doos Cup-a-Soup Terwijl ze haar...
A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs
En pige lægger sine varer op ved kassen: 1 tomat
En pige vader ind i et supermarked
A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 apple 1 banana 1 orange 1 plum 1 peach 1 grapefruit 1 tomato...
En kvinna kommer in i affären och köper lite saker
A woman went shopping.
She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste...
All of a sudden the salesman asks her:
"You're single, aren't you?"
A bit surprised woman smiles and answers:
"That's right, but how did you guessed that?"
"Because you're so ugly."
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Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
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Did something bad happen to you or are you just naturally ugly.
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I like you. You remind me of when I was young and sтuрid.
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I don't think you act sтuрid, I'm sure it's the real thing.
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The doctor finished examining my wife and beckoned me to a private room.
“The bad news is that I found an ugly growth on your wife’s neck”
“It’s called a head. I feel sorry for you.”
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Sit down, give your mind a rest - it obviously needs it.
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Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
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You're like a fат stump, I'm always falling over you.
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