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Вицове за секс, 18+ English Sexwitze, Sex-Witze, 18 +, Org... Chistes y anécdotas Sexo, 18 +... Русский Blagues de Sex - +18 ans Barzellette su Sesso Σεξουαλικα ανεκδοτα Секс Türkçe Анекдоти про Секс 18+, Анекдот... Português Dowcipy i kawały: Seks 18+ Svenska Seks moppen 18+, Moppen over l... Sex jokes Sex-vitser Seksivitsit Szex viccek Româna Anekdoty a vtipy o sexu a milo... Lietuvių Anekdotes par seksu Seks, Seksi vicevi, Sex
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Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs are roaming in the forest when they come across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decides to take a bath. So she tells the Dwarfs to turn around while she is taking a bath in the lake. The Dwarfs protest vehemently because they want to take a bath too.
Snow White relents and says “When I get into the water and you hear the splash, you can turn around.” Snow White undresses and as she is about to jump into the water, at that very moment, she is startled by a frog who jumps into the water before she can. The moment the Dwarfs hear the SPLASH, they turn around and see Snow White standing NАКЕD.
Now, given that this incident is an idea for a TV ad, what product is being advertised?
That’s easy … 7 Up!
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My son asked me to help with his homework the other day.
The question he was stuck on was, “Give two ways to stop pregnancy.”
After telling him what to write I was confident he would be getting top marks.
According to his teacher though, “fuскing her up the shiттеr,” and “blowing your load all over her тiтs,” were both wrong answers.
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An elderly couple in their 80’s were about to get married.
She said: I want to keep my house.
He said that’s fine with me.
She said: And I want to keep my Cadillac.
He said: That’s fine with me.
She said: And I want to have sеx 6 times a week.
He said: That’s fine with me…Put me down for Fridays
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Have you heard about that blind hоокеr?
You've gotta hand it to her!
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I like my sеx just like my wifi. Slow and unprotected.
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Can’t believe I’ve just been banned from using Match. Com.
Apparently “My diск”, is an inappropriate answer to the question ‘What do you want most in a woman?”
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We practice safe sеx. We practice really safe sеx. The other night during sеx, we had a fire drill.
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Just watched роrn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV…… So THAT’S where the сliтоris is.
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Apart from Humans, the only animal that enjoys having sеx is a Dolphin…….
I had to shаg a lot of animals to find that out.
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I can assure you that маsтurватiоn is a biological necessity. I always heard that conventional sеx with your new bride would milk Big Jim and the Twins dry and stop your blue ваlls from trying to split your sсrот open and escape.
I tried to stop beating the bishop the first day or two of our marriage, and I can promise you, my nuтsаск ballooned quicker than Oprah in a Krispy Kreme Donut Shop..
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Personal ad in newspaper:
Premature ejaculator seeks young attractive female for adult fun.
Must have large вrеаsтs, voluptuous lips, a tight аrsе and………OOH …………never mind!
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What’s the most sensitive part of your body while маsтurватing?
Your ears because you’re listening for footsteps
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Sеx with me is like a race: we both start at the same time; whoever gets to the promised land first is the winner.
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I don’t talk during sеx.
My mum always said, never talk to strangers.
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Did u know doves die after sеx. Well the one I f*cked did.
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A young couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an unfortunate incident occurred.
Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet for the morning’s relief, and neglected to notice that the seat was up. When she sat, she kept going!
She was just the right size and shape so that she became jammed into the toilet past her waist with her legs sticking straight up in front of her. She cried for her husband, who rushed in, and for the next hour tried desperately to extricate her.
In this process they removed her sleeping gown, but this only left her nакеd and still stuck, with a particular part of her anatomy prominently visible between her splayed legs.
Finally, the couple resolved to call a plumber, despite the embarrassing nature of their problem.
When the plumber arrived, the young man let him in, but as they were walking to the bathroom, the young man realized that his wife was exposed in a very compromising and humiliating way.
Thinking fast, he ran ahead of the plumber and placed the first thing he could think of, his shoes, over his wife’s exposed privates.
The plumber walked into the bathroom, took one long look, and commented, “Well, I think I can save your wife, buddy, but her lover’s a goner.”
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What’s black and blue and hates sеx.
Rape victim.
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A recent scientific study has found that having sеx burns a large amount of calories. This is especially true when you do it without consent and you have to run away.
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