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Вицове за секс, 18+ English Sexwitze, Sex-Witze, 18 +, Org... Chistes y anécdotas Sexo, 18 +... Русский Blagues de Sex - +18 ans Barzellette su Sesso Σεξουαλικα ανεκδοτα Секс Türkçe Анекдоти про Секс 18+, Анекдот... Português Dowcipy i kawały: Seks 18+ Svenska Seks moppen 18+, Moppen over l... Sex jokes Sex-vitser Seksivitsit Szex viccek Româna Anekdoty a vtipy o sexu a milo... Lietuvių Anekdotes par seksu Seks, Seksi vicevi, Sex
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Sex Jokes

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Q: The male sеx has two hobbies. What are they?
A: His left hand and his right hand.
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A man asks his buddy: "Listen to me! Why has your wife left you, if I may ask?"
And he says, "you know, she has told me that I am weak in the bed."
"Oh, that is really sad. And what do you do to improve it?"
And he says again: "you know, I have bought one book, the name of this book is Kamasutra, you know I am helping myself with the hand, I have learned all positions, but the last position I am not gonna make."
"And what is the name of this position?"
"You know, imagine the missionary position."
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I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
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Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
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What's the difference between basketball and sеx?
In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
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Do you speak english? Interviewer: Αχμέτ Χουσεϊν Temel Amerika - Do you speak English? Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" — Qual o seu nome? Neulich bei der Einwanderungsbehörde:,"Name?","Abu Dalah Sarafi.","Sex?","Four times a week.","No, no, no... male or female?","Male, female... sometimes camel..." No balcão da Alfandega: Seu nome ? Abu Abdalah Sarafi. Sexo? Quatro vezes por semana. Não, não, não! Homem ou mulher? Homem, mulher. Algumas vezes camelo. - Name? - Abdul Anubi al-Dzabiri. - Sex? - Four times a week - No, no, male or female? - Male, female, sometimes camel... En man som är dålig på engelska kommer in på en arbetsförmedling i Holland för att söka jobb! - Name - Abu Dalah Sarafi. - Sex? - Four times a week. - No, no, no, male or female? - Male,... Q: Your name please? A: Abdul Aziz Q: Sex? A: Yes. Two times every week. Q: No no. I mean, Male or Female? A: Not matter. Sometimes also camel ! An arab at the airport: - Name? - Abdul al-Rhazib. - Sex? - Three to five times a week. - No, no... I mean male or female? - Male, female, sometimes camel. - Holy cow! - Cow, sheep, animals in... An arab at the airport: - Name? - Abdul al Rahzib. - Sex? - Three to five times a week. - No, no...I mean Male or female? - Male, female, sometimes camel. - Holy cow! - Yes, cow, sheep,... Q: Naam? A: Abdul Asis Q: Sexe? A: Ja iedere week 2 keer. Q: Nee, ik bedoel man of vrouw? A: Maakt niet uit, soms ook kameel. En la oficina árabe le atienden por teléfono: - ¿Me dice su nombre, por favor? - Jawad Gadaff - ¿Sexo? - 1 vez al día, pero no siempre. - ¡No, hombre, no! Me refiero, ¿hombre o mujer? - Correcto,... All’Ufficio Immigrazioni: – Nome? – Mhoamhed. – Sesso? – 5 volte alla settimana. – Ma non in quel senso: maschio o femmina? – No importa, a volte anche con cammelli. Chiedono a Gheddafi: "ciao, nome?" e lui: "Gheddafi", e poi: "sesso?" e lui risponde: "cinque volte al giorno!" e loro chiedono: "con maschio o femmina?" e lui: "va bene anche cammello!". - NAME? - Muhjmatil Ahmed. - SEX? - Three times a week! - NO, I MEAN; MALE OR FEMALE? - Doesnt matter. Sometimes even with camel... - Name? - Abdul al-Rhazib. - Sex? - Three to five times a week. - No, no! I mean male or female? - Male, female, sometimes camel... - Holy cow! - Yes. Cow, sheep... animals in general. - But isn An Arab at the airport: -
"Name?"
"Abdul Aziz."
"Sеx?"
"Three to five times a day."
"No, no... I mean male or female?"
"Yes, male, female, sometimes camel."
"Holy соw!"
"Yes, соw, sheep, animals in general."
"But isn't that hostile?"
"Horse style, doggy style, any style!"
"Oh dear!"
"No, no! Deer run too fast..."
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The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants;
I asked her "Is it thick?"
She said "yes dear."
Again I asked: "Is it warm?"
She replied: "yes honey."
Then I asked: "Is it soft?"
She said, "yes of course."
"It is my shiт!" I told her.
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Yo momma's сliтоris is as long as my diск.
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Roses are red
violets are blue.
My diск has glue
I offer it to you.
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- Je vous serais reconnaissant, dit un buraliste à un monsieur, de ne pas fumer dans ce magasin. - Il me semble que si vous vendez des cigarettes, la moindre des choses serait d Влегува Цветко во продавница, си купува цигари, ги отвара и пали една. Продавачот му вика: - Извинете господине, тука не се пуши! - Е како продавате цигари, а не се пуши? - Епа, ние и тоалетна... Inne på en affär: - Ursäkta, man får inte röka här inne. - Men ni säljer ju cigaretter... - Vi säljer toapapper också... Bemegy egy fickó a benzinkút shopjába és vesz egy doboz cigarettát. Kifizeti, majd egyből kivesz egy szálat és rágyújt. Az eladó figyelmezteti: - Elnézést uram, de itt nem gyújthat rá! - Miért,...
A guy went to a supermarket and began to smoke.
Miss salesman: "Sir don't smoke here."
Guy: "I've just bought the cigarettes from here."
Miss salesman: "We sell condoms too; so that is not why you fuск me here."
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There are an older brother and a younger sister.
The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom.
The sister asks the brother if she could play with his diск and he says yeah.
A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no.
Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little рissеd of he says yes.
After a while, the parents hear a scream.
They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."
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Едно момиче подсушавало с хавлията своето мокро коте. На нея и харесвало много, затова започнало да търка по енергично, докато ... котето измяучило и избягало. Изводи: 1. Бъдете нежни с животните. 2, Бъдете с чисто съзнание
A Girl was toweling her wet рussy. She enjoyed it so much that she began to rub it vigorously until...
...the рussy cried "Meow" and runs away.
Moral Lessons
1. Be kind to Animals
2. Always keep your thoughts clean...
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hat is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Vad är det för skillnad mellan en katolsk präst och acne? Acne kommer inte i ansiktet på dig före att du är över 12 år gammal What is the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boy Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einem katholischen Priester und Akne? Akne kommt erst auf dein Gesicht, wenn du 13 bist. What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face. Mitä eroa on aknella ja katolisella papilla? Akne ei yleensä tule kuusivuotiaan naamalle. Quelle est la différence entre un prêtre et de l
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican?
A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would сuм on your face!
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‘During sеx, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me.
Just the other night she called me from a hotel.’
Rodney Dangerfield
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A boy washed with his mum in the bathroom and saw her vаginа and asks:
"what the hеll is this".
"It is called a cave" replied the mother.
The next day he washed with his father and saw his diск and asks
"what the heck is this".
"This is called little Johnny".
The next day he went to school and his teacher was mad that he came late to school so she told him to sing a song.
He started to sing
"when the black clouds came out of the mountain little Johnny ran into the cave."
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A guy is driving his car and finds a friend crying, sitting on the road. He stops. And he asks him:
- Hey, What happens to you?
- (crying) Look! and he points a crashed car.
- Well, don't care and buy another car.
- Look inside the car!
- Well, don't care and get another blonde, and that's all.
- Look inside her mouth!!!
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Валентајн На 14 февруари мъж влиза в аптеката: Аптека в День всіх закоханих: - Доброго дня. - Закінчилися! 14 februarie. La Farmacie intra un client: - Buna ziua. As vrea Si eu... - S-au terminat! il intrerupse Brusc farmacista. 14 февраля, аптека. - Здравствуйте! - Закончились!
An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store:
"Good evening!"
"Sorry, we are sold out..."
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Peter approaches the gates of Heaven.
"Knock knock," says Peter.
Miraculously, someone answers him.
"Who's there," a voice in the distance asked.
"God," says Peter.
"God who," asked the voice?
"GOD DАММIТ open these gates!
I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
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