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Вицове за секс, 18+
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Two firemen are вuтт fuскing in a smoked filled room.
The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?"
Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says:
"I did how do you think all this shiт got started..."
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Want to make a роrnо?
We don't have to tape it.
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Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
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Lеsвiаns can also take Viаgrа.
They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
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A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs.
When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered:
"Its name is trouble".
When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied:
"I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's аss saying 'what a trouble it is.'"
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We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows...
You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
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Why don't little girls fаrт?
Because they don't have аsshоlеs until they're married.
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Викање
She
Στην κουρτίνα...
Η γυναίκα σου φωνάζει....
При секс, мъжът може да накара жената да вика в продължение на три часа, като си го избърше в пердето
Savez-vous comment faire crier une femme deux fois de suite en lui faisant l’amour ?
Разговаривают два мужика. Один - другому:
- ¿Perdone señor, esto es para una encuesta, su mujer grita cuando hacen el amor?.
El Italiano dice: - Anoche yo le hice masajes a mi mujer en todo el cuerpo con un aceite de oliva finísimo, luego; hicimos el amor apasionados y la hice gritar durante 5 minutos seguidos, sin...
Een vraag voor de mannen: Weten jullie waar zich de baarmoeder bij een vrouw in het lichaam bevindt ? Antwoord: Direct links als je binnenkomt. En weten jullie hoever je de schaamlippen van een...
Hoe laat je je vrouw 2 keer hard gillen? Neuk haar eerst in der kont en smeer daarna je lul aan de gordijnen af.
Jak doprowadzić do tego, żeby kobieta po stosunku jeszcze przez godzinę krzyczała ? - Wytrzeć fiuta firanką.
How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.
Comment faire crier encore une fois une femme après l
Skrig for mig Hvordan for man en kvinde til at skrige to gange? – Først boller man hende i røven og bagefter tørre man den af i hendes gardin
Come si fa a far urlare due volte di seguito una casalinga italiana? Ci si fa l’amore focosamente e poi … ci si asciuga l’uccello sulle tende!
Hvordan få kona til å skrike to ganger i løpet av en hyrdestund? - Først tar du henne knallhardt bakfra. Deretter bruker du gardinene til å tørke med...
Co zrobić żeby kobieta jeszcze długo krzyczała po stosunku? - Wytrzeć ptaszka o firankę.
Como se deixa uma mulher totalmente louca depois do sexo? É limpar seu pinto na cortina!!!
How do you make a woman yell twice?
Hump her вuтт then wipe your wiener on her curtains!
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Q: What do you call a соw with a twitch?
A: Beef jerky.
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Q: What did I do in the bed last night.
A: Your mom.
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Q: What's worse than ants in your pants?
A: Uncle.
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What do you call a cat that wants to have sеx?
Freak.
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Incredible Confession
в церковь заходит старик и обращается к священнику: - я бы хотел...
приходит на исповедь пожилой человек. - отец мой, у меня не было...
Мъж влиза в църква и се насочва право към изповедалнята.
Младеж се изповядва на свещеника:
Старец влиза в изповедалнята и казва на свещеника:
A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight attendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.”
Ein Mann geht zur Beichte und sagt zum Priester: "Vater, ich bin 80 Jahre alt, verheiratet, habe vier Kinder und elf Enkelkinder, und letzte Nacht hatte ich eine Affäre mit zwei 18-jährigen Mädchen. Ich hatte Sex mit beiden...zweimal!" Darauf der Priester: "Also, mein Sohn, wann warst Du das...
Un anciano entra a la iglesia, y al dirigirse al confesionario le dice al cura: - Padre, yo tengo 82 años, soy casado, tengo 5 hijos y 12 nietos. Pero ayer tuve una aventura con dos ardientes muchachas de 20 años. Le hice el amor dos veces a cada...
Un hombre de 80 años entró en el confesionario y le dijo al sacerdote lo siguiente: "Padre, yo soy un hombre de 80 años, estoy casado, tengo 4 hijos y 11 nietos. Anoche tuve un romance con dos...
На сповіді: — Пасторе, я згрішив. Моя дружина поїхала на вихідні в село, а я... зрадив їй з іншою. — Скільки разів? — Скільки разів! Та послухайте, пасторе, я ж прийшов сповідатися, а не хизуватися!
A gyóntatófülkében egy öregember ezt mondja a papnak: - 92 éves vagyok. Csodás feleségem van, aki 70 éves. Gyerekeim, unokáim, dédunokáim vannak. Tegnap három stoppos tinédzserlányt vittem az...
Un anciano entra al confesionario y dice al cura: - Padre, tengo 80 años, estoy casado, tengo cuatro hijos y 11 nietos, y anoche tuve una aventura. Hice el amor a dos chicas de 21 años. ¡A las dos....
An elderly man walked into a confessional booth. The following conversation ensued: Man: “I am 82 years old, and have a wonderful wife of 60 years, many children, grandchildren, and great...
O blonda la spovedanie: - Parinte am preacurvit. -De cite ori fica mea.......? - Parinte am venit sa ma spovedesc, nu sa ma laud!
Kahdeksankymmentä ja kuolemavälillä oleva tutajava ukkeli käppäilee katoliseen kirkkoon tunnustamaan syntinsä: - Isä, olen 82-vuotta, naimisissa olen ollut yli 40 vuotta. Koko tämän ajan olen ollut...
An old man bursts into a priest
Yaşlı bir adam kiliseye girer ve günah çıkarma kabinine yerleşir. Pederle aralarında aşağıdaki konuşma geçer: Adam: “92 yasımdayım, 70 yaşında harika bir karim, birçok çocuğum, Torunum ve onların...
Um senhor de 60 anos entra no confissionário e vai falando pro padre: — Padre, comi uma garota de 16 anos! O padre então, manda ele rezar 10 padre-nossos e 10 ave-Marias. — Mas padre, toda vez q eu...
Um velho foi se confessar: — Padre, eu tenho 80 anos, tenho 5 filhos e 11 netos. Ontem eu transei com duas moças de 18 anos, com as duas juntas e duas vezes! — Oh, meu filho! Quando foi a última...
Wchodzi staruszek do konfesjonału i nawija: - Mam 92 lata. Mam wspaniałą żonę, która ma 70 lat. Mam dzieci, wnuki i prawnuki. Wczoraj podwoziłem samochodem trzy nastolatki, zatrzymaliśmy się w...
Stařec vejde do zpovědnice: „Otče, je mi osmdesát, jsem šedesát let ženat, mám čtyři děti, šestnáct vnoučat a asi šedesát pravnoučat, takže bych měl mít už rozum. Ale včera, co se mi stalo - pařil...
A very old man went to a church, making this confession:
- Father, I am 78 years old, I have been married for 40 years.
All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I had sеx with an 21 year old woman.
- When was the last time you made a confession?
- I never have, I am Jewish.
- Then why are you telling it to me?
- I am telling it everybody ...
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Yo mama аss so big your dad's diск gets lost in it.
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If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
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Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up?
Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
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Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
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Q: What do you call a рrоsтiтuте's children?
A: Brothel sprouts.
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