Sex Jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular
0
A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.
He said, “I’m doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?”
She said, “Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.”
“And if you don’t mind me asking, what do you use it for?”
“We use it for sеx.”
The researcher was a little taken aback. He said, “Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child’s bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sеx. I admire you for your honesty. Since you’ve been frank so far, would you tell me in what manner you use it for sеx?”
The woman said, “I don’t mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the door кnов and it keeps the kids out.”
0
Little Johnny was learning about government at school so his teacher told him to ask they're parents what the government is. Little Johnny asked his dad what the government was and his dad said that there is the president, congress, work force, people and the future. He explained that dad is president, mom is the congress, the maid is the work force, he is the people and his brother is the future. Johnny still didn't get it so his dad asked him to sleep and maybe by tomorrow he'll know what the government is. In the middle of the night little Johnny woke up because he heard his brother crying. He found out that he had pooed in his pants so he went to ask for help. His mom was asleep so he went downstairs to find his dad. His dad was having sеx with the maid. "Now I know what the government is, the congress is asleep, the president is sсrеwing the works force, know one cares about the people and the future is full of сrар.
0

0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0

0
0
Oh Shiт -
A young guy drops off his girlfriend at her home after being out together on a date. When they reach the front door he leans up against the house with one hand and says to her, “How about a вlоwjов?”
“What! Are you crazy!”
“Don’t worry, it will be quick,” he ensures his girlfriend.
“No! Someone might see us…”
“It’s just a small вlоwjов,” he insists, “and I know you like it.”
“No! I said no!”
“Baby… don’t be like that.”
Suddenly, the girl’s younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown, with her hair a mess, and rubbing her eyes. She looks at them and smirks, “Dad says either you вlоw him, I вlоw him, or he’ll come downstairs and вlоw the guy himself… but for God’s sake tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom.”
0
0
0
0