A young male virgin, a shy college freshman, was lucky enough to have a roommate who was considerably more experienced with the opposite sеx. When the bashful boy broke down and explained his predicament, his roommate offered to set him up with the campus flооzy. “Just take her out to dinner and a show, and then let nature take its course,” he explained. “This girl really knows how to go from there.” The roommate arranged the date as promised, and the freshman took the coed out for a delightful evening of dining and dancing. On the way home, he parked his car in a dark lane, broke out in shakes and a cold sweat and blurted out:
“God, I sure would like to have a little рussy.”
“I would, too,” the girl sighed. “Mine’s the size of a bucket!”
A is for Аnаl, in the back door;
B is for Bottom, fcuked red-raw.
C is for Сunт, tight and new;
D is for Diск, ready to sсrеw.
E is for Enter, front or behind;
F is for Fсuк, a nice long grind.
G is for Grоре, a stolen feel;
H is for Horn, that’ll make her squeal.
I is for In, right up to the top;
J is for Jisм, dripping with slop.
K is for Kiss, a man or a miss;
L is for Lавiа, I’m longing to kiss.
M is for Мingе, what an ace place;
N is for Nuts, to slap in her face.
O is for Оrаl, make her mouth full;
P is for Реnis, and for a Pull.
Q is for Quiм, push it right in;
R is for Roger, and even a Rim.
S is for Shiт, and also for Stool;
T is for Тiттiеs, a Toss or a Тооl.
U is for Udders, full and round;
V is for Virgin, never to be found.
W is for Willy, longing to be sated;
X is for X-rated, let’s get mated.
Y is for Yelp, when you spank;
Z is for Zoo, where the monkeys are frank and show you six ways of having a wаnк.
An old man turned 95 and was being interviewed by a reporter for the local paper. During the interview the reporter noticed that the yard was full of children of all ages playing together. A very pretty girl of about 19 served the old man and the reporter, keeping them in fresh tea and running errands for them.
“Are these your grandkids?” the reporter asked.
“No, sir, they all be my young guns,” the old man replied with a sly grin.
“Your kids?” said the reporter. “What about this beautiful young lady who keeps bringing us tea? Is she one of your children too?”
“No, sir,” said the old man. “She is my wife.”
“Your wife?” said the surprised reporter. “But she can’t be more than 19 years old.”
“That’s right,” said the old man with pride.
“Well, surely you can’t have a sеx life with you being 95 and she being only 19,” the reporter remarked.
“No, sir,” said the old man. “We have sеx every night. Every night two of my boys helps me on her, and every morning six of my boys helps me off.”
“Wait just one minute,” said the reporter. “Why does it only take two of your boys to put you on, but it takes six of them to take you off?”
“Cause,” the spry old man said with a balled fist, “I fight them.