So my wife's pregnant, and people are so idiotic. You know what people ask? They ask, 'What do you want? A little boy? A little girl?' Everything's prefaced with 'little.' Oh, jeez, no! We want the...

So my wife's pregnant, and people are so idiotic. You know what people ask? They ask, 'What do you want? A little boy? A little girl?' Everything's prefaced with 'little.' Oh, jeez, no! We want the biggest thing possible. She wants to give birth to a 45-year-old plumber named Gus, some guy with a hardhat, smoking unfiltered Camels.

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