Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
"It tells me that someone has stolen our tent."
There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled:
"Do you need help, sir?"
The preacher calmly said
"No, God will save me."
A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked,
"Hey, do you need help?"
The preacher replied again,
"No God will save me."
Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God,
"Why didn't you save me?"
God replied,
"Fool, I sent you two boats!"