A married couple touring Israel sat outside at a Bethlehem sidewalk cafe, waiting for their friends. A peddler approached them, his arm loaded with belts.
After an impassioned sales plea yielded nothing, he asked where they were from. “America,” the husband replied.
Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded, “She’s not from the States.”
“Yes, I am,” said the wife. He pointed to her husband and asked her, “Is he your husband?”
“Yes.”
“Mister, I’ll give you a hundred camels for her.” The husband sat for a long, stunned silence before he replied, “She’s not for sale.”
After the salesman left, his indignant wife asked, “What took you so long to answer?”
He replied, “I was trying to figure out how I could get a hundred camels back to America!”
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The president of Mexico back, in the 80’s, locked in the entire senate one good day.
“No one leaves till we have a solution to our crumbling economy!!”
3 days they discussed plans, but to no avail.
Finally, on day 4, one congressmen stands up and excitedly announces he has a plan!!!
“We’ll declare war on the USA.” he announced
“WHY would we want to do THAT?” asked the shocked president.
“Well,” explained the young man, “then they’ll invade us and we will become THEIR problem. We”ll be added to their welfare, the food stamps, the unemployment…see????”
The room exploded with men and women agreeing with the plan, but the President looked unconvinced…
“What is wrong with the plan?” asked the Vice president
“Well… it is all fine and good… but what happens if we win??
First thing they said, 'Well, Tiger, you're the first African America...' He was like, 'Ah, ah ,ah, ah -- first of all, I'm not African American. I'm two-thirds this, a quarter of that, an eighth of this, a fifth of Irish.' I'm like, 'How many people was havin' sеx that night, Tiger?'