A four year old little boy was at the doctor’s office with his mother in the waiting room when he spotted a pregnant lady on the other side of the room.
Having nothing better to do, he walk over to her and inquisitively asks “Why is your stomach so big?”
She replied, “I’m having a baby.” With big eyes, he replied, “Is the baby in your stomach?” She said, “He sure is.”
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look on his face, asked yet another question, “Is it a good baby?”
She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.”
At this point the woman is thinking the little boy is incredibly cute and looks forward to what he has to say next…
And, much to her surprise, with an even more surprised and shocked look than before, he asks.. “Then why did you eat him.
Fishy -
A man was sitting on a London train eating a bag of fresh shrimps, ripping off the heads and shells and then throwing them out of the window.
After he had gobbled a few of them down an older woman opposite him said, Would you mind not doing that? It’s disgusting to watch..
Listen, love. He replied, It’s got nothing to do with you, I’ve paid my fare for this journey and I’ll do what I dамn well want on this train.
He carried on ripping off the shells, throwing them out of the window and eating the shrimps. Finally he finished the bag and settled back for a little sleep.
The woman then started some knitting and all the man could hear while he was trying to sleep was the incessant clicking of her knitting needles.
After a while, he sits back up and says to the woman, Could you stop that noise, can’t you see I’m trying to sleep?
It’s got nothing to do with you, replies the old woman, I’ve paid my fare and I’ll do what I want on this train.
At that, the man grabbed the woman’s knitting and threw it out of the window. The woman immediately stood up and pulled the train alarm cord.
The man burst out laughing and said, Ha ha, you’ll get fined $200 for that!
To which the old woman replied, And you’ll get six years when the police smell your fingers.
At last i have taken the time to write down some man rules….. The guys side of the story.
We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side now here are the rules from the male side
These are our rules! Please note. These are all numbered #1 on purpose!
1. Men are not mind readers.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. If you think you’re fат, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings.. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. We have no idea what mauve is.
1.. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1.. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear..
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. You have enough clothes.
1 .. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!
1.. Thank you for reading this. Yes, i know, i have to sleep on the couch tonight.. But did you know men really don’t mind that? it’s like camping…
All you henpecked men i dare you to share this. If you grow some ваlls while doing it… print out a copy and paste it on the bedroom door