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Two cowboys lean against the rail at their favorite bar and rate women as they go by.
A beautiful brunette passes. The first cowboy says, "I'll give her a 3." The other cowboy nods.
Next, a hot redhead walks by. The second cowboy looks her up and down and says to the first cowboy, "Well, I think that one must be a 4." The first cowboy nods.
Finally, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde approaches. The cowboys straighten up and tip their hats back a little for a better look. The first cowboy smiles real wide and says, "Dамn! That one has GOT to be a 6." The second cowboy nods.
Overhearing this, the woman turns around sharply and looks the first cowboy in the eye, "I'll have you know, I've been rated far higher than that by far better men than YOU."
And the second cowboy says, "But, ma'am, you don't understand - we use a different kind a rating system. We use the equestrian method."
Taken aback, she asks, "What the hеll is the equestrian method?"
The first cowboy smiles and says slowly, "Well ma'am, that's how many Clydesdales it would take to pull you off my face."
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Dave's wife thinks that he is pushing himself too hard, so she takes him to a local sтriр club for his birthday.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How are ya?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
They sit and a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know what you drink."
"No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them."
A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. "Hi, Davey," she says, "Want your usual lap dance?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. His wife starts screaming at him.
The cabbie turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real doozy this time, Dave!"
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Warum ist es schwierig, Männer zu finden, die sensibel, aufmerksam und gutaussehend sind? Weil die alle schon einen Boyfriend haben. Miksi naisen on niin mahdottoman vaikea. Miksi naisen on niin mahdottoman vaikea löytää itselleen hellää, herkkää ja hyvännäköistä miestä? - Koska niillä kaikilla on jo poikaystävä Pourquoi est-ce si difficile pour les femmes de trouver des hommes sensibles, attentionnés et présentant bien ? - Ils ont déjà un petit ami. Varför är det så svårt för kvinnorna att hitta män som är känsliga, omtänksamma och snygga? - För de männen har redan pojkvänner. - Защо за жените е трудно да си намерят мъж, който да е грижлив, чувствителен и красив? - Защото тези мъже вече си имат любовник Dlaczego tak trudno kobiecie znaleźć mężczyznę, który byłby wrażliwy, troskliwy i przystojny? - Bo on przeważnie już ma chłopaka.
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Вдовица Η αγγελία Esto era una mujer que quería a un hombre con las siguientes indicaciones: Que no le pegara, que no se fuese de su lado y que fuese muy potente, por lo que puso un anuncio en el periódico. Εύπορη αλλά μοναχική κυρία δημοσιεύει αγγελία ζητώντας σύντροφο: Eine 73-jährige Witwe gibt eine Kontaktanzeige auf: "Suche Mann, 60 bis 75 Jahre, soll mich nicht schlagen, nicht treten und es mir gut besorgen können." Drei Tage später klingelt es an der Tür. Sie macht auf und sieht einen Mann ohne Arme und Beine vor der Tür. Sie fragt: "Was wollen sie hier?"... A mulher já havia se casado e divorciado cinco vezes, mas sempre acontecia algo estranho nos seus relacionamentos. Então, ela decidiu colocar o seguinte anúncio no jornal: "Procuro homens que sejam bem-dotados, não me batam e não fujam de mim." Alguns dias depois toca a campainha: — Quem é? —... Eine alte 75-jährige Witwe möchte gerne einen neuen Freund und inseriert in der Zeitung: "75-jährige Frau sucht Mann von ungefähr gleichem Alter. Er darf mich nicht schlagen, nicht fremdgehen und muss gut im Bett sein." Einige Tage später klingelt es an der Haustür. Als die Frau die Haustür... Susanne var i sen 30 års ålder och fortfarande ogift. Hon hade liksom bara svårt att träffa män. De män hon mot förmodan träffade visade sig vara skitstövlar. Till slut så bestämde hon sig att... Een oude weduwe van 75 wil graag een nieuwe vriend, ze zet een zoekertje in de krant met de volgende boodschap: Ben 75 jarige vrouw, zoek man van ongeveer dezelfde leeftijd, mag me niet slaan, mag... Eine 70jährige Witwe entscheidet sich dazu, sich mal wieder einen Mann anzuschaffen, und gibt eine Kontaktanzeige auf: "Suche Mann um die 70, du solltest mich weder schlagen, noch auf mir... Uma viúva rica e solitária decidiu que precisava de um outro homem em sua vida, então colocou um anuncio no qual podia-se ler: "Viúva rica procura por homem para compartilhar vida e fortuna.... Egy 72 éves öreg néni elhatározza, hogy férjhez megy. A helyi újságba felad egy hirdetést: " Férj kerestetik! Korombeli legyen, ne verjen, ne szaladgáljon körülöttem, és jó legyen az ágyban."...
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Викање She's a Screamer Στην κουρτίνα... Η γυναίκα σου φωνάζει.... При секс, мъжът може да накара жената да вика в продължение на три часа, като си го избърше в пердето Savez-vous comment faire crier une femme deux fois de suite en lui faisant l’amour ? Разговаривают два мужика. Один - другому: - ¿Perdone señor, esto es para una encuesta, su mujer grita cuando hacen el amor?. El Italiano dice: - Anoche yo le hice masajes a mi mujer en todo el cuerpo con un aceite de oliva finísimo, luego; hicimos el amor apasionados y la hice gritar durante 5 minutos seguidos, sin... Een vraag voor de mannen: Weten jullie waar zich de baarmoeder bij een vrouw in het lichaam bevindt ? Antwoord: Direct links als je binnenkomt. En weten jullie hoever je de schaamlippen van een... Hoe laat je je vrouw 2 keer hard gillen? Neuk haar eerst in der kont en smeer daarna je lul aan de gordijnen af. Jak doprowadzić do tego, żeby kobieta po stosunku jeszcze przez godzinę krzyczała ? - Wytrzeć fiuta firanką. How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains. Comment faire crier encore une fois une femme après l'amour ? Il suffit d'essuyer son sexe aux rideaux. Skrig for mig Hvordan for man en kvinde til at skrige to gange? – Først boller man hende i røven og bagefter tørre man den af i hendes gardin Come si fa a far urlare due volte di seguito una casalinga italiana? Ci si fa l’amore focosamente e poi … ci si asciuga l’uccello sulle tende! Hvordan få kona til å skrike to ganger i løpet av en hyrdestund? - Først tar du henne knallhardt bakfra. Deretter bruker du gardinene til å tørke med... Co zrobić żeby kobieta jeszcze długo krzyczała po stosunku? - Wytrzeć ptaszka o firankę. Como se deixa uma mulher totalmente louca depois do sexo? É limpar seu pinto na cortina!!!
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Научни новини. Учените откриха хранителен продукт, намаляващ с 90% желанието на жените за секс - сватбената торта. Новости науки. Ученые обнаружили пищевой продукт, на 90% снижающий потребность женщин в сексе! Это свадебный торт. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake. Een aantal wetenschappers zijn erachter gekomen welk voedsel ervoor zorgt dat de sex lust bij vrouwen met 85% afneemt... Een huwelijks taart! Tiedemiehet ovat keksineet ruoan, joka vähentää naisten seksuaalista halukkuutta 90 prosentilla. - Sitä kutsutaan hääkakuksi Naukowcy odkryli potrawę, która zmniejsza popęd seksualny kobiet o 90%. Nazywa się "tort weselny". Qual è il cibo che fa diminuire la frequenza dei rapporti sessuali della coppia? La torta nuziale! Quel type de nourriture réduit l'activité sexuelle des femmes de 90% ? Le gâteau de mariage. - Melyik étel csökkenti a nők szexuális vágyát 95%-kal? - ??? - Az esküvői torta. Forskere har opdaget mad, der sænker en kvindes sexlyst med 90% Det kaldes bryllupskage.
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Pourquoi les femmes se grattent-elles la tête au réveil ? Parcequ'elles n'ont pas de couilles. -Dlaczego kobieta przeciąga się rano jak wstanie? - Bo się nie może po jajach podrapać. Hvorfor gnider kvinder sig i øjnene, nar de vågner? – Fordi de ikke har nosser, de kan klø sig i Perche’ le donne si stropicciano gli occhi quando si svegliano al mattino ? Perche’ non hanno palle da grattarsi.
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