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Вицове за Жени English Frauen-Witze, Frauenwitze, Fra... Chistes de Mujeres анекдоты про женщин Blague sur les Femmes Barzellette Donne Ανέκδοτα για γυναίκες Жени Kadın Fıkraları Анекдоти про Жінок Piadas de Mulher, Piadas de Mu... Dowcipy i kawały: Kobiety Skämt om kvinnor Vrouwen moppen Jokes om kvinder, Kvindehørm v... Vitser for damer, Vitser om kv... Naisvitsit, Naiset ratissa Viccek nőkről Bancuri Femei Anekdoty a vtipy o ženách a ma... Juokai apie Moteris Latviešu Vicevi o ženama
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Jokes about Women

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Q: Why was the blonde's bellybutton bruised?
A: Her husband was a blonde, too.
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What is six inches long with a head on it, that women like to вlоw?
MONEY.
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Woman:
Can I get Viаgrа here? Pharmacist: Yes. Woman: Can I get it over the counter? Pharmacist: If you give me two of them, you can.
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Q: What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?
A: They go to town and вlоw a couple of bucks.
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A hillbilly is sitting in a bar, drinking, when a woman sidles up next to him. "You're cute," says the woman, "do you want to go back to my place and have some nasty sеx?"
"You bet!'' exclaims the hillbilly, "But I have to tell you, I'm a virgin. I've always been scared because my mom told me that women have sharp teeth between their legs, and sometimes they bite."
"Don't worry," the woman says, and the two head back to her place, where she strips and shows the hillbilly her private parts. "Now, does it look like I have teeth down there?" she asks.
"How could you possible have teeth down there?" he says, "Look at the shape your gums are in."
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Two cowboys lean against the rail at their favorite bar and rate women as they go by.
A beautiful brunette passes. The first cowboy says, "I'll give her a 3." The other cowboy nods.
Next, a hot redhead walks by. The second cowboy looks her up and down and says to the first cowboy, "Well, I think that one must be a 4." The first cowboy nods.
Finally, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde approaches. The cowboys straighten up and tip their hats back a little for a better look. The first cowboy smiles real wide and says, "Dамn! That one has GOT to be a 6." The second cowboy nods.
Overhearing this, the woman turns around sharply and looks the first cowboy in the eye, "I'll have you know, I've been rated far higher than that by far better men than YOU."
And the second cowboy says, "But, ma'am, you don't understand - we use a different kind a rating system. We use the equestrian method."
Taken aback, she asks, "What the hеll is the equestrian method?"
The first cowboy smiles and says slowly, "Well ma'am, that's how many Clydesdales it would take to pull you off my face."
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Q: What do you call a woman with no a**hole?
A: Divorced.
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When she was like 17 or 18 years old, she won a beauty contest back in Pennsylvania.
She ran like three miles a day; she jogged; she swam six, seven miles a day. She was in really good shape, and she won a beauty contest. She was a good-looking woman. Now, she's 93 years old and really let herself go.
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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times.
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How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but it really has to want to change.
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A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible rush. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."
"You're a brave man," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."
The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."
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1) You've ever had to lug a paint can to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
2) Your wife's hairdo has ever been destroyed by a ceiling fаn. 3) You go to your family reunion to pick up women. 4) Your richest relative buys a new house - and you have to help him take the wheels off it. 5) You think a six-pack and a bug zapper is quality entertainment. 6) Your family tree does not fork. 7) You've ever been too drunк to fish. 8) You've lost more than two teeth opening вееr bottles. 9) You helped your cousin move his refrigerator - and the grass underneath it has turned yellow. 10) You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
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A cowboy was riding through an old abandoned canyon trail when he was captured by a group of ruthless banditos intent on killing him. In their drunkenness, they decided to go easy on him and grant him three requests.
For his first, he asked for his horse. He whispered something to his horse, who then rode off and returned with a beautiful woman. The cowboy spent the night with the woman.
The same thing happened the second day. But when the horse returned on the third day with another woman, the cowboy lost his temper and yelled "You sтuрid horse! I said 'posse!'"
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A beautiful woman loves to garden, but can't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. She asks her neighbor, "What do you do to get your tomatoes red?"
He replies, "Twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."
The woman decides to do the same thing. So twice a day for two weeks she exposes herself to the garden. Her neighbor asks, "How did it go? Did you tomatoes turn red?"
"No," she replies, "but my cucumbers are enormous."
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What do you call 32 West Virginian women in one room?
A full set of teeth.
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Q: What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
A: A fly can fly, but a mosquito cannot mosquito.
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FRIGHTENING statistic:
25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness
That's scary!
It means 75% are running around UNTREATED
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Връзката в едно семейство е психологична. - Връзката между жената е психологическа! - Да. Единият е психо Forholdet mellem mand og kvinde er psykologisk. Ja. Den ene er psyko og den anden er logisk.
The Relation Between Husband And Wife Is Very Psychological. One is рsyсhо, the other is logical.
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