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Български English Baby Witze, Baby-witze, Babywi... Chistes de bebés Русский Français Italiano Ελληνικά Македонски Türkçe Українська Português Polski Svenska Baby Moppen Dansk Norsk Suomi Kisbaba viccek Româna Čeština Lietuvių Latviešu Hrvatski
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Baby Jokes

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La mujer con el bebé desnutrido пришла женщина с 3-х месячным ребенком к врачу на очередную... Блондинка отива на лекар Жена води бебе на лекар. Жена носи бебе на доктор. Докторот ја прашува: A woman and baby are in the doctors surgery Une jeune femme se présente chez un pédiatre Una mujer visita al médico con un niño en brazos. -Doctor Egy asszony egy kisbabával elmegy az orvoshoz. Az orvos megvizsgálja a babát Çekici bir genç kadın Çekici bir bayan çok zayıf bir bebeyi kontrole götürür bebeğe bakan doktor bu iyi gıda almıyor der ve kadına dönerek üzeriniz deki herşeyi çıkarın der kadın ne alaka ki der doktor lütfen bunu yapın... Kadın yanında bir bebekle çocuk doktorına gider. Doktor bebeği muayene eder . ‘hanfendi bu çoçuk gıdasız kalmış der. ve kadına soyunmasını söyler . Kadın soyunur. Kadının göğüslerini inceler. ‘evet...
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the Doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The Doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and seeming a little concerned, asked if the baby was вrеаsт-fed or bottle-fed.
"Вrеаsт-fed," she replied.
"Sтriр down to your waist," the Doctor said. She did. He pinched her niррlеs, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both вrеаsтs for awhile in a detailed examination. Motioning her to get dressed, he said,
"No wonder this baby is underweight, you don't have any milk."
"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."
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One morning when I was going out of the house I met my neighbor's daughter who was pregnant. When I returned home I saw her father closing the door.
I told him: "Your daughter hasn't married yet I wonder how it is possible a girl without any husband be pregnant?
For a moment her father with a bitter smile said: "She isn't pregnant; it is all wind in her belly. She farts and would recovery."
Next year perchance I saw the same girl with a baby in her arms.
Next day when I was going out facing her father so I told him: "I saw your daughter with her fаrт in her arms."
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For 3 years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!"Helen, why didn't you write when you learnt you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"
"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a ваsтаrd in the family than a lawyer."
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Suzy asked her big sister Samantha how babies are made. Samantha explains it to her.
"I still don't get it? Can you show me."
Suzy says.
"OK. Tonight, I will let you watch will my boyfriend, Jack and I sсrеw."
That night, Jack laid Samantha 5 times but Suzy still didn't understand.
The next night Jack was tired of Suzy watching so he offered to have sеx with her.
"OK but I don't want Samantha to watch"
So Samantha went outside.
They are in there for almost an hour and when they come out Jack is smiling like crazy.
"That was fun but I still don't get it."
Says Suzy
The next day the same thing happened.
And the next day.
Finally 2 weeks later Samantha comes home crying.
"Whats wrong," Suzy says.
"Jack dumped me. He said there was someone better."
Said Samantha.
"Let's go talk to him maybe we can change his mind," said Suzy.
When they got there Jack said he made up his mind and there was nothing they could do to change it.
Then he asked to speak to Suzy privately.
He pulled off all of Suzy's clothes and started to sсrеw her.
"OK," Jack said kissing Suzy's neck "I broke up with Samantha now tell me how you got to be so good in bed."
"Fine." She replied, "I asked all my other sisters how babies are made."
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My girlfriend always wanted to know the future job of her baby; so the other day when we were making sеx suddenly she farted.
I told her: "Your baby will be a bugler."
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Црнче Όργιο Черно дете пита бялата си майка:
Two girlfriends meet again after a few years. One is pushing around a baby buggy. The first girlfriend looks at the baby and is perplexed.
"Black skin? Blue slit eyes? A blonde afro? How did you do that?"
Murmurs the other woman.
"Dамn gаngваng! At least he doesn't bark!"
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On a cold day of January, I went to visit one of my friends in his house; it was snowing and my friend urged me to stay the night with him.
They had only 2 rooms one for themselves and other for their baby; so I suggested to rest in baby' room.
In middle of the night, I need WC which was in the garden and was so difficult for me to go there.
I thought some moments then decided to change my place with the baby.
I did so.
And рissеd in the place of baby; when I returned to change again I saw that the baby had shiттеd in my bed!
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Жена
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
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Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting?
A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two ваlls!
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A man is visiting a foreign country but does not speak the language that they speak there.
He decides to go to a church service, but the priest is speaking the native language, so the American man just does whatever the man in front of him does.
When the man in front of him stands, so does the American man.
When the man in front of him sits, so does the American man.
At one point, the priest says something, and the man in front of him stood.
So the American man stood too.
Everyone in the church gasped, so the American man hurriedly sat back down.
Later, the American man figured out that the priest was congratulating a birth.
When he had asked who was the father, and both men stood up, it had caused some confusion!
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Kid to her mother: "If you hurt me I'll make you pregnant by a needle."
Mother: "How? My sweet it isn't possible."
Kid: "I'll insert the needle to daddy's соndом!"
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After giving birth, I quit my job.
The exit questionnaire asked, "What steps would have prevented you from leaving?"
My answer: "Birth control."
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Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?
A: She went looking for the three guys.
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Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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Какво разбират блондинките под "естествено раждане"? Да са без грим
Q: What's the idea of a blonde of natural childbirth?
A: No make-up.
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Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common?
A: Both their moms are going to кill them!
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A lady tells the nurse at a maternity hospital, "I want to call my little baby Ellie."
Nurse replies, "I'm sorry, but that name is already taken, perhaps you can consider naming her Ellie532 or Ellie_153?"
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A pregnant lady learns from her dentist that she needs a root canal.
She says to the dentist, "dаrn ... I'd just as soon give birth as have a root canal".
The dentist replies, "well, make up your mind so I know what position to put the chair in".
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