Cat jokes

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When you don't have to pay for rent or food.

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Thank goodness they're back in

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Why do we say 'slept like a baby'? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat.
14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

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Keyboard attachment for cat owners

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Me: I just love coming home and seeing my kitty waiting for me. I wonder what he's thinking when he see's me... Kitty: Where the fuск's my food, fuск face?

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What’s the difference between a semicolon and a cat?
One has a pause at the end of its clause, the other has claws at the end of its paws.

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I just gave my cat some 7UP.
Now he’s got 16 lives.

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News has just come in that The Mars Rover has discovered a member of the feline species while exploring.
Unfortunately, Curiosity killed the cat.
Edit: this is /u/Onetap1's joke, credit goes to him

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My kids cried when I told them I had put gingеr in the curry.
They loved that cat.

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*A joke my son told me* - What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show?
A Cat-Has-Trophey!

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I just found a dead body in the street
So I took it home and put it on the cat's pillow
See how she f**king likes it !

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Good news: cat found on mars
Bad news: curiosity killed the cat

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Wanted: £20,000 Reward for Schroedinger's Cat...
... Dead and Alive

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I was told by the vet that i had to put my cat down...
So i went home to it and said "You're fат and lazy."

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What's the difference between Mufasa and a house cat?
Mufasa couldn't land on all fours.

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Im questioning my vets qualifications after diagnosing my cat with gingervitis..
There isn't a single strand of red hair on her.

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