Cat jokes

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My kids cried when I told them I had put gingеr in the curry.
They loved that cat.

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*A joke my son told me* - What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show?
A Cat-Has-Trophey!

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Did you know they tested the Mars rover against animal attacks?
They had to switch to dogs because Curiosity killed the cat.

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Good news: cat found on mars
Bad news: curiosity killed the cat

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Wanted: £20,000 Reward for Schroedinger's Cat...
... Dead and Alive

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I was told by the vet that i had to put my cat down...
So i went home to it and said "You're fат and lazy."

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What's the difference between Mufasa and a house cat?
Mufasa couldn't land on all fours.

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Im questioning my vets qualifications after diagnosing my cat with gingervitis..
There isn't a single strand of red hair on her.

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Two friends are meeting in a bar
Friend1: My wife and I got a new pet.
Friend2: Cool, what is it? A cat? A dog?
Friend1: Neither. It is a skunk.
Friend2: Oh gosh. Isn't it smelling totally awful in your home?
Friend1: Well, the pet will have to get used to it.

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My cat got another bumpersticker.
Bite the hands that don't feed you.

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Today, a CAT fell on me.
Would've been funny, had I not been in a construction site.

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I wanted to watch the Dallas cowboys in the superbowl...
The cat said,
"Not without a VCR"

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I saw a missing kitten poster at the end of my street, responds to "Rasputin"
Now there was a cat who really was gone

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What do you call it when your doctor tells you to take your dead cat to a Taxidermist
A refurral.

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My dog loves to huмр my cat
He’s a real purrrrvert

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Halloween is next month! Here's a Halloween themed joke for you all: Why is a black cat unlucky?
It means you cooked it too long.

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A vet calls a cat owner.
- Sir your wife is here with your cat, she wants me to put her to sleep. Do you agree with that?
- Yeah sure put her to sleep, and let the cat out, she knows how to come back home on her own.

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What happens when a cat gets possesed by a demon?
It needs to be purrified

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