Disability Jokes and Disabled Jokes
A bus stops to let on a passenger. This attractive lady steps onto the bus and puts her right thumb to her nose and wiggles her fingers without saying a word. The bus driver puts his right thumb to his nose and his left thumb to the palm of his right hand and wiggles all eight of his fingers. The woman then looks a bit confused and in silence grabs her воовs. The bus driver in a growing lack of patience grabs his ваlls, the woman then turns around, grabs her аss and struts off the bus.
A frequent passenger who sits at the front of the bus looks to the driver, and says, “Tom, I’ve been riding your bus for quite a few years now and I’ve never seen anything as vulgаr as this! I’m going to have to ride a different route!”
Tom, the driver, looks to the woman sitting in the front seat and replies, “You are mistaken, that woman was deaf. She asked me if this bus was headed for 5th. street, I said, ‘no, 10th street.’ She asked if it went to the Dairy Mart, I told her that it went to the ball park and she said, ‘shiт, I’m on the wrong bus’ and left.'”
The Amazing Jεw
(This gem is called “The Amazing Morty.”)
A traveling salesman drove into a small town where a circus was playing. A sign read:
“Don’t Miss The Amazing Jεw.”
The intrigued salesman bought a ticket and sat down. There, under the Big Top, in the center ring, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Jεwish man wearing a name tag with the name, ‘Morty’ written on it.
After the applause died down, Morty dropped his pants, whipped out the biggest sсhlоng any man could possibly dream of owning and smashed all the walnuts with three mighty swings!
The crowd erupted in applause and the old Jεwish man was carried off on their shoulders to the tune of Hava Nagila.
Fifteen years later the salesman visited the same little town, found the same circus and saw the same sign now faded,
“Don’t Miss the Amazing Jεw.”
He couldn’t believe the old guy was still alive much less still doing his act! He bought a ticket. Again, the center ring was illuminated. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table. There stood Morty before them.
The drum rolled, Morty dropped his pants and smashed the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member. The crowd went wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with Morty after the show.
“You’re incredible,” he told Morty, “but I have to know something. When I saw your act 15 years ago and you were using walnuts. Why the switch from walnuts to coconuts?”
“Vell, I tell ya sompin,” said Morty,
“Me eyes ain’t vat dey used to be!”