A cowboy passes by a ranch and strikes up a conversation with the rancher sitting by the gate.
The cowboy asks the rancher, "Mind if I talk to your dog over there?"
"Dамn fool, don't you know dogs can't talk?"
The cowboy replies, "So what's the harm?"
The rancher shrugs, "Go right ahead."
The cowboy ambles up to the dog and says, "Howdy!" The dog replies, "Hello."
The rancher's eyes pop wide open.
The cowboy continues, "Does your master here treat you alright?"
"Sure does. He feeds me, lets me sleep inside, and every day he takes me to the lake."
The cowboy asks the shocked rancher, "Mind if I talk to your horse over there?"
The rancher replies, "Now, I don't know what you're up to, but I know for a fact that horses can't talk."
"Well then, what's the harm?"
"Go right ahead," says the rancher.
The cowboy says to the horse, "Hello." The horse replies, "Hello."
The rancher's jaw drops.
The cowboy asks, "Your owner here treat you OK?"
"Sure," replies the horse, tossing his mane. "He rides me every day, brushes me down, feeds me good, and he keeps me in the barn out of the bad weather."
The cowboy looks satisfied and turns to the rancher, "Are those your sheep over there?"
The rancher looks alarmed and stammers, "Listen - them sheep out there, they're - they're nothing but a bunch of liars!"
Never trust a dog to watch your food.
- Patrick, age 10 When your dad is mad and asks you, Do I look sтuрid? don't answer him.
-Michael, 14 Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
- Michael, 14 Stay away from prunes.
-Rаndy, 9 Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
-Traci, 14 Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic tac.
- Andrew, 9 Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
- Kyoyo, 9 You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- Armir, 9 If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
- Naomi, 15 Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
-Lauren, 9 Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
- Joel, 10 Never try to baptize a cat.
-Eileen, 8 '
There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved, and he followed her everywhere.
One morning she woke up, went to the bathroom, came out, and realized that her dog wasn't at her feet. She found him in his bed ''sleeping''. She called his name, but he didn't get up. So she took him to the vet and told the vet that her dog wouldn't wake up. So he looked at her dog and said, ''Your dog is dead''. She asked the doctor to perform another test to be sure.
The doctor went into another room, and came back with a cage. In it there was a cat. He let the cat out, and she walked arund the dog, sniffed, and went back in her cage. The doc put the cat back in the other room. He came out and said again, ''Your dog is dead''.
She was like ''Ok, how much do I owe you?''
The doctor said ''$300''
She said, ''What!?!? How could it cost that much??''
He said ''$15 for me to say he was dead. Then $285 for the cat scan''
A policeman is walking down the road when he sees a man with a brick tied to a dog leash.
He decides to go and humor him. He walks up to the man and says, ''Hello, sir, I like your dog!'' The man looks at the brick, then the policeman, and says, ''It's not a dog, it's a brick.'' The policeman replies, ''Oh, sorry, I thought you were a bit mad,'' and walks off rather puzzled. As the policeman goes out of sight, the man turns to the brick and says, ''That fooled him, didn't it Rover?''