Jokes about Dogs

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Why do men chase after women they don’t intend to marry?
Well why do dogs chase after cars they don’t intend to drive?

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A dog thinks, “Wow, the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live in a nice house away from the cold, they take care of me… They must be gods…”
The cat thinks, “Wow, the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live in a nice house away from the cold, they take care of me… I must be God!”

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Why do dogs liск their butts?
Because nobody will do it for them.

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A good idea for a sign:
“Salespeople welcome – dog food has become really expensive”

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What do you do when you see a dog eating your dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.

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What creature has four legs and one hand?
A happy Rottweiler returning from his morning walk.

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What looks like a dog, lives in a dog house, eats dog food and is extremely dangerous?
A Rottweiler with a black belt in karate.

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What market shouldn't you take your dog to?
The flea market.

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Why did the dog lie down?
He found lying up a little hard.

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Dogs are the best alarm clocks.
When they want out, there’s no snooze button that could tame that.

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“They say the dog is man's best friend.
I don't believe that.
How many of your friends have you neutered?”
- Larry Reeb

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