Two women friends had gone out for a girls night out, and had been overenthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunк and walking home, they suddenly realized they both needed to рее. They were very close to a graveyard, and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with, so she took off her раnтiеs, used them, and threw them away. Her friend however, was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home. The next day, the first woman's husband phones the other husband and says,
"These girls' nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her раnтiеs."
"That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her вuтт that said,
"From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you!"
A guy at a bar says to the bartender, "I bet you $1,000 I can рее in that cup all the way over there at the end of the bar." The bartender agrees, so the guy whips it out and he pees all over the bar. Having just won $1,000, the bartender starts smiling. The guy goes over to a table where his friends are seating and collects a bunch of money from them. He walks back to the bar, gives the bartender his $1,000, and then starts laughing. The bartender asks, "Why are you laughing? You just lost the bet." The guy says,
"Before I bet you, I bet all of my friends over there $2,000 dollars that I could рее all over your bar and you would be happy about it!"
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux was friends. One day, Boudreaux saw Thibodeaux driving a brand new Ford. He said,
"Thibodeaux, where'd you get that new truck? You don't have no job." Tibodeaux said,
"You know Mrs. Patty? She's been sweet on me for quite some time. Today, she took me out into the woods in this here truck. She got out the truck, took off all her clothes, and said, 'Thibodeaux, take what you want.' So I took the truck." Boudreaux said,
"Well dats good for you Thibodeaux, because her clothes would never fit you."