A pastor’s wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher’s family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher’s expanding salary.
A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman’s additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, ‘Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us.
Silence fell on the congregation.
In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, ‘Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubber shoes.’
The entire congregation said, ‘Amen.’
Gennaro is in this country for only 6 months. He walks to work 20 blocks every dayand passes a shoe store.
Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Boccelli leather shoes.
He wants those shoes so much…. It’s all he can think about.
After about 2 months he saves the priceof the shoes, $300, and purchases them.
Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement.
Gennaro seizes this opportunity to wearhis new Boccelli leather shoes for the first time.
He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asksher,
Sophia, do you wear red раnтiеs tonight?’
Startled, Sophia replies,
‘Yes, Gennaro, I do wear red раnтiеs tonight,but how do you know?’
Gennaro answers,’I see the reflection in my new $300 Boccelli leather shoes.
How do you like them?’
Next he asks Rosa to dance,and after a few minutes he asks,’Rosa, do you wear white раnтiеs tonight?’
Rosa answers,
‘Yes, Gennaro, I do,but how do you know that?’
He replies,
‘I see the reflection in my new $300 Boccelli leather shoes.
How do you like them?’
Now as the evening is almost overand the last song is being played,Gennaro asks Carmela to dance.
Midway through the dance his faceturns red.
He states, ‘Carmela, be stilla my heart, please, please tell me you wear no раnтiеs tonight, please, please, tella me this true!’
Carmela smiles coyly andanswers,
Yes Gennaro, I wear no раnтiеs tonight.’
Gennaro gasps,
‘Thanka God ..
I thought I had a СRАСК in my$300 Boccelli leather shoes!’
I didn't really understand my family until I moved to Puerto Rico as an adult. For, like, five years, I lived there, and before then, I had always assumed that the dementia, the craziness in our family, was specific to our household. Then, I moved to the island -- 4 million people behaving the exact same way -- and I realized, 'Oh my God, I'm not dysfunctional. I'm tropical!'