A Canadian is on vacation and walks into a bar.
He sits on this HUGE stool and says to the bartender' man, I heard things are big down here in Texas, but this is ridiculas!' and orders a mug of вееr.
He gets a pitcher of вееr and asks the bartender, 'man, I heard that things are big down here in Texas but this is ridiculas!' and goes about drinking his вееr. He orders another and he gets really рissеd drunк.
Well, not too long later, he has to go to the bathroom really, really bad so he asks the bartender, 'Where is your washroom???'
The bartender says, down the hall, second door on the right.'
So the man climbs off the stool and stumbles down the hall and enters the second door to the left and falls in this huge swimming pool.
The man is struggling to stay afloat and screams 'DON'T FLUSH IT!!!
A man walks into a bar with a dog.
The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here."
"You don't understand," says the man.
"This is no regular dog, he can talk."
"Listen, pal," says the bartender.
"If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks.
"The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?"
"Roof!"
"Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?"
"Bark!"
"And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"Ruth!"
"I guess you've heard enough," says the man.
"I'll take the hundred in twenties."
The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you."
As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"