Money jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

The difference between the short and long income tax forms is simple.
If you use the short form, the government gets your money.
If you use the long form, the tax advisor gets your money.

34

0

Q: How is a boss better than a wife?
A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.

34

0

Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.

34

0

A couple came upon a wishing well.
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"

34

0

Q: Why did Нiтlеr кill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.

34

0

Why did the farmer feed money to his соw?
He wanted rich milk.

34

0

Yo' Mama is so poor, she's always talking about the time she almost ate at a restaurant.

33

0

Yo' Mama is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute - anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.

33

0

A man went to visit his doctor. "Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.
The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. "Hello, Doctor," says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate!"
"Aha!'' says the doctor. ''I see the problem. Your arm is broke!"

33

0

Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.

33

0

How do you know you have a great CPA?
He has a tax loophole named after him.

33

0

Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars?
Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.

33

0

When I graduated from highschool, I was so poor and couldn't afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school.
I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over.
I haven't quite got the fetching part down.
They say I'm a little rough around the edges.

33

0

Where do homeless accountants live?
In a tax shelter.

33

0

Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant?
She charges an arm and a leg.

33

0

Martin ended a letter to his dad with this question, 'Is Washington's picture still on the dollar bill?'
His Father wrote back, 'Of course it is. Why do you ask?'
Martin answered, 'Because it's been so long since I've seen one!'

33

0

Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant?
A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.

33

0

Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant?
A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.

33

0