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Вицове за Пенсионери, баби, дя... English Rentnerwitze - Pensionistenwit... Chistes de ancianos, Chistes d... Анекдоты про пенсионеров, пенс... Blagues sur les personnes âgée... Barzellette Anziani, Anzianità Αστεία με ηλικιωμένους Пензионери Yaşlılar hakkında fıkralar Жарти про літніх людей Piadas de Velhos, Piadas de Id... Dowcipy i kawały: Emeryci i st... Roliga Historier om Gamlingar Moppen over Ouderen, Bejaarden... Vittigheder om ældre mennesker Vitser om alder Vitsit vanhuksista Viccek idősekről Glume despre bătrâni Anekdoty a vtipy o důchodcích ... Anekdotai apie senjorus Anekdotes par vecumu Vicevi o starijima
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Old People Jokes

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An old man goes to the doctor to ask him an important question.
“Doctor, when I was in my 20’s, it took both of my hands to push down my hard-on.”
“When I was in my 30’s, it took one hand to push down my hard-on.”
“When I was in my 50’s, it took three fingers to push down my hard-on.”
“Now that I’m in my 60’s, it only takes one finger to push down on my hard-on!”
“So what I’m basically trying to ask you is? How strong am I going to get?”
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Here are the texting codes for the older generation:
ATD - at the doctor.
BFF - best friend fell.
BTW -bring the wheelchair .
BYOT - bring your own teeth.
FWIW - forgot where I was.
GGPBL - gotta go, pacemaker battery low.
GHA - got heartburn again.
IMHO - is my hearing aid on?
LMDO -laughing my dentures out.
OMMR - on my massage recliner.
WIWYA - when I was your age.
ROFLACGU - rolling on floor laughing and can’t get up.
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Codes for seniors:
ATD - At the Doctor’s
BFF - Best Friends Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM - Covered by Medicare
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
FYI - Found Your Insulin
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
HGBM - Had Good Воwеl Movement
IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL - Living on Lipitor
OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas
ROFL…CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing…Can’t get Up!
WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again
WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!
DTAF - Don’t Trust A Fart
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I can't wait to retire so I can get up at 6 in the morning and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work
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At the age of 60, finally the four friends successfully managed to go together on a trip that they planned 40 years ago.
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What fishing gear did you buy?
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This yoga pose is called...Half his pension.
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кill markings
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Кийт Ричардс и Адам и Ева
Keith Richards with Adam and Eve
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Най-накрая излизам с моята приятелка този уикенд. Няма нищо лошо в това млади момчета да излизат с по-възрастни жени
Finally going out with my Boo this weekend. Nothing wrong with young guys dating older women, but please don't dig them
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A cause d'abrutis comme lui Заради такива като тоя ще вдигнат пенсионната възраст на 80
Because of idiots like him, they'll end up raising our retirement age to 80!
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You like the shirt with the writing on it, but you don’t know what it says.
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Баща ми не намираше Google Chrome Mi padre no encontraba Google Chrome Мой отец не мог найти Google Chrome Mein Vater konnte Google Chrome niсhт finden Mon père ne trouvait pas Google Chrome Ο πατέρας μου δεν έβρισκε το Google Chrome Mio padre non trovava Google Chrome Babam Google Chrome'u bulamıyordu Мій батько не міг знайти Google Chrome O meu pai não conseguia encontrar o Google Chrome Mój tata nie mógł znaleźć Google Chrome Min pappa hittade inte Google Chrome Mijn vader kon Google Chrome niet vinden Min far kunne ikke finde Google Chrome Faren min fant ikke Google Chrome
My dad couldn't find Google Chrome, so I did this:
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Баба: В днешно време хората мислят само за cekc. Също баба:
Grandma: All people think about is sеx these days  Grandma:
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Когато Gen Z пита защо всички на старите снимки са с червени очи Кога Gen Z прашува зошто сите на старите слики имаат црвени очи Cuando la Gen Z pregunta por qué todos en las fotos antiguas tienen los ojos rojos Когда зумеры спрашивают Wenn die Gen Z fragt Quand la Gen Z demande pourquoi tout le monde a les yeux rouges sur les vieilles photos Όταν η Gen Z ρωτά γιατί όλοι στις παλιές φωτογραφίες έχουν κόκκινα μάτια Quando la Gen Z chiede perché tutti nelle vecchie foto hanno gli occhi rossi Gen Z soruyor: “Eski fotoğraflarda neden herkesin gözleri kırmızı?” Ben de onlara diyorum ki: “80’lerin büyük iblis ayaklanmasını hatırlayamayacak kadar gençsiniz.” Коли Gen Z питає Quando a Geração Z pergunta por que todo mundo nas fotos antigas tem os olhos vermelhos Kiedy Gen Z pyta När Gen Z frågar varför alla på gamla foton har röda ögon Als Gen Z vraagt waarom iedereen op oude foto’s rode ogen heeft Når Gen Z spørger Når Gen Z spør hvorfor alle på gamle bilder har røde øyne Kun Gen Z kysyy Amikor a Gen Z megkérdezi Când Gen Z întreabă de ce toată lumea din pozele vechi are ochii roșii Když se Gen Z ptá Kai Gen Z klausia Kad Gen Z jautā Kad Gen Z pita zašto svi na starim slikama imaju crvene oči
When Gen Z asks why everyone in old photos has red eyes, I tell them they’re too young to remember the great demon uprising of the 1980s.
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Знаеш On sait que l'on a vieilli quand on voit que les lecteurs cd portables sont déjà exposés dans un musée.
You know you've got old when you see that portable cd players are already on display in a museum.
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Vu que je commence à prendre de l'âge mon docteur m'a recommandé d'installer des bars dans ma salle de bains
As I'm getting older, my doctor recommended installing bars in my bathroom.
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Tips on how to fall asleep in a living room chair:
1. Be old.
2. Sit in a chair
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