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Вицове за Пенсионери, баби, дя... English Rentnerwitze - Pensionistenwit... Chistes de ancianos, Chistes d... Анекдоты про пенсионеров, пенс... Blagues sur les personnes âgée... Barzellette Anziani, Anzianità Αστεία με ηλικιωμένους Пензионери Yaşlılar hakkında fıkralar Жарти про літніх людей Piadas de Velhos, Piadas de Id... Dowcipy i kawały: Emeryci i st... Roliga Historier om Gamlingar Moppen over Ouderen, Bejaarden... Vittigheder om ældre mennesker Vitser om alder Vitsit vanhuksista Viccek idősekről Glume despre bătrâni Anekdoty a vtipy o důchodcích ... Anekdotai apie senjorus Anekdotes par vecumu Vicevi o starijima
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Old People Jokes

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Here are the texting codes for the older generation:
ATD - at the doctor.
BFF - best friend fell.
BTW -bring the wheelchair .
BYOT - bring your own teeth.
FWIW - forgot where I was.
GGPBL - gotta go, pacemaker battery low.
GHA - got heartburn again.
IMHO - is my hearing aid on?
LMDO -laughing my dentures out.
OMMR - on my massage recliner.
WIWYA - when I was your age.
ROFLACGU - rolling on floor laughing and can’t get up.
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Codes for seniors:
ATD - At the Doctor’s
BFF - Best Friends Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM - Covered by Medicare
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
FYI - Found Your Insulin
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
HGBM - Had Good Воwеl Movement
IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL - Living on Lipitor
OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas
ROFL…CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing…Can’t get Up!
WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again
WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!
DTAF - Don’t Trust A Fart
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For many years fred's secret sunday afternoon naps went undetected
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At the age of 60, finally the four friends successfully managed to go together on a trip that they planned 40 years ago.
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What fishing gear did you buy?
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This yoga pose is called...Half his pension.
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кill markings
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Кийт Ричардс и Адам и Ева
Keith Richards with Adam and Eve
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Най-накрая излизам с моята приятелка този уикенд. Няма нищо лошо в това млади момчета да излизат с по-възрастни жени
Finally going out with my Boo this weekend. Nothing wrong with young guys dating older women, but please don't dig them
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A cause d'abrutis comme lui Заради такива като тоя ще вдигнат пенсионната възраст на 80
Because of idiots like him, they'll end up raising our retirement age to 80!
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You like the shirt with the writing on it, but you don’t know what it says.
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Yo' mama so old, I slapped her on the back and her тiтs fell off!
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Yo' mama so old, her social security number is two!
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There was an old couple sitting at a table. The old man said to the old lady, "I remember 50 years ago we were sitting at this very table."
The old woman said, "Yes, and we were probably nакеd as jay birds."
The old man said, "Well, what do you say..wanna get nакеd?" So they both stripped.The old woman said, "You know honey, my вrеаsтs are just as hot for you as they were 50 years ago." The old man replied, "I can imagine, one is in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."
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When she was like 17 or 18 years old, she won a beauty contest back in Pennsylvania.
She ran like three miles a day; she jogged; she swam six, seven miles a day. She was in really good shape, and she won a beauty contest. She was a good-looking woman. Now, she's 93 years old and really let herself go.
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Зет/хирург Тъста е на операционната маса. Предстои операция от зетя-хирург.
An elderly man was on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, a famous surgeon. Just before they put him under, he asked to speak to his son:
"Don’t be nervous, boy, just do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me… your mother is going to come and live with you and your family."
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Романтика на клупа во паркот Молодой человек с девушкой сидят на лавочке. Девушка настроена игриво: Хубав парк В купе на влак пътуват младеж и девойка. Една вечер в парка двама младежи си седят и си говорят. До тях на съседната пейка седи сляп старец. Момчето е много притеснително Idzie sobie chodnikiem małżeństwo. Kobieta mówi do mężczyzny: - Kochanie Badea Gheorghe in tren „Bolí mě ucho En vacker sommarkväll sitter ett kärlekspar på parkbänken. Bredvid dem på samma bänk sitter en äldre man. - Jag har ont i handen! säger tjejen. Killen kysser hennes hand Para zakochanych siedzi w parku
A lovey dovey couple are sitting on a bench in the park and she says:
“My ear hurts me…” He kisses it gently and asks, “Is it better now, my darling?”
“It’s all gone,” giggles the girl, “but now I have a pain here,” and she points to her neck.
The boy kisses it tenderly and asks, “Better now, sweet pea?”
“It’s all healed, my love! But now I have a very bad pain here,” she replies and points to her clavicle.
“Excuse me,” politely interrupts an old man from a neighboring bench, “this is really impressive! Do you heal hemorrhoids as well?”
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Me боли главата нешто Harry ist krank Ali ist krank Carlos Отива един на доктор. сотрудник звонит шефу: - я сегодня не выйду на работу Hung Chow calls in to work and says C'est un ouvrier qui appelle son patron... Mattias gick runt och var små sur hela tiden på jobbet. Allt var det fel på Johan gick och var mest småsur – fel på jobbet A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical Der Erkan telefoniert mit seinem Chef! "Du Chef Xiang Li llama una mañana al trabajo: - Yo no puede tlabajá hoy Kalle va småsur Kontorsjefen har lagt merke til at en av de ansatte sitter og gaper Oddleif ringer sjefen for atter en gang gi beskjed om at han er blitt syk igjen og ikke kan komme på jobben. Sjefen Un uomo va dal dottore con una lunga storia di emicrania. Il dottore scopre che il suo povero paziente ha provato praticamente ogni terapia senza nessun miglioramento. ‘Ascolta’ dice il dottore Kung Chang llamó a su Jefe y le dijo: - Jefe Egy embert szörnyű fejfájás gyötör - Allô patron. - Oui Allô? - Patron
A guy comes to work very sick and asks his boss for advice. The boss says:
"You know, if it were me, I'd just go home and let my wife really take care of me in all aspects, if you know what I mean. Now go and do just that, Roger, you look pretty bad."
The guy gratefully leaves and comes back the next day, looking much better.
"So, how was it?" asks the boss, "Everything alright?"
"Yes," replies the guy, "I feel much better, thank you. By the way, you have really nice furniture!"
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