One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Set your Wi-Fi password to 2444666668888888.
So when someone asks tell them it’s 12345678.

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Hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only items #1, 3, & 5 were done.
Turns out, he only does odd jobs.

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Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii...
Or just a-low-ha?

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Are people born with a photographic memory? Or does it take time to develop?

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A patient sobs to his doctor, “I feel like a pair of curtains!”
Doctor replies, “Well pull yourself together man!”

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A blonde goes to an office party and wins a thermos. The blonde asks a co-worker, What does it do? He says it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. The next day the blond goes to work after filling her thermos with ice cream and tea.

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Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The policeman said, "What's he like?"
Little Johnny replied, "Вееr and women!"

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The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor."
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."

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The old adage that "It takes a thief to catch a thief" may indeed be true. But these days there's a 3rd thief involved pleading the case -- the lawyer.

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What does a blonde and a turtle have in common? Once their on their back there sсrеwеd.

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Q: Why can't blondes be cowgirls?
A: They can't keep their calves together.

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“I'm really good at being lazy. In fact, my doctor even said that if I continue being this lazy I should expect atrophy.”

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A blonde is going to London on a plane; how can you steal his window seat? Tell him all seats going to London are in the middle row.

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"My Friday is ruined!"
"Why, what happened?"
"I realized today is Tuesday."

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A man is bragging about his new hearing aid. "It's the best I've ever had," he says. "It cost $3,000."
His friend asks, "What kind is it?"
He says,
"Half past four!"

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Two people are on opposite sides of a lake.
One yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"
"You are on the other side," the other shouts back.

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Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
A: A rebel without a clue.

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A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.
She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.”
The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.”
And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”

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