What Causes Arthritis, Father?
A man flops down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie is stained, his face is plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin sticks out of his torn coat pocket.
He opens his newspaper and begins reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turns to the priest and asks, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"
"It's caused by loose living, cheap women and too much alcohol!"
"Well, I'll be dамnеd!" the drunк mutters, returning to his paper.
The priest thinks about what he has said, nudges the man and apologizes. "I'm very sorry. I shouldn't have been so unpleasant about it. Tell me, how long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the pope does!"
What Did You Say About Mama?!?
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunк comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best lay in town."Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him and the drunк wanders off and stands at the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, the drunк comes back, points to the same guy, and says, "I just sсrеwеd your mom, and it was swe-e-et!"Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunк wanders off. Ten minutes later he comes back and announces, "Your mom even let me..." Finally the guy interrupts: "Go home, Dad - you're drunк!"