Physics jokes

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Union VS. Intersection

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My little girl told me today she doesn’t want to leave the house because she’s scared of terrorists. I told her it’s not the terrorists you should be scared of, it’s the highly destructive shockwaves produced by rapidly expanding explosive material.

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Did you hear about the physics student that committed suicide by jumping off a skyscraper?
What a shame. He had so much potential.

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Women defy the laws of physics...
They are easier to pick up the heavier they get...

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Breaking up is like physics ...
She keeps saying that I have no energy.
I keep telling her that I have potential.

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Wanna hear a physics pun?
If an aircraft always takes off at an angle, doesn't that make it an inclined plane?

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A Joke by my Physics Teacher
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the roof of his building.
Just before the man jumps, the physicist yells:
"Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

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I had a female Physics teacher in my school.
One day, a guy asked her, "What is the unit of power?"
"That's watt", she said.

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A physics student was standing on top of a building, threatening to jump
I tried to talk him out of it, because he had so much potential.

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I keep asking my physics teacher
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is he unit for power?"
But he just keeps responding with "yes."

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One More For All The Philosophy Majors Out There
The Physics major asks: How does it work?
The Engineering major asks: How do you build it?
The Accounting major asks: How much will it cost?
The Philosophy major asks: Do you want fries with that?

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After years of studying, a physics student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting...
"Professor, Professor, I think I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"
Einstein rolls his eyes
"It's about time!"

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I thought of a great joke about physics
But it would probably Bohr most of you..

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Where do physics teachers go on vacation
Times square

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What did the physics teacher say to Luke Skywalker?
Use the mass times acceleration!

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Astronomy Instructor: In modern physics Black holes matter ,,,
Student shouts: All holes matter...!

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A student asked his physics instructor
"How can you tell which numbers are prime?"
Physics instructor:
"Oh that's easy! All odd numbers are prime."
Student:
"What about 9?"
Physics instructor:
"Oh that's just experimental error!"

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I asked my physics instructor what would happen if the universe hit Absolute Zero.
He told me that if the universe came to that point then we shouldn't worry, everything is going to be 0K.

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