Jokes about Police Officers

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Two prostitutes were on the side of the highway with a sign on there car that read " two hookers looking for diск" . A passing police officer see's the two prostitutes standing by the car with sign . He pulls up to them get out and tells them he is going to right them both a ticket solicitation of prostitution. A few minutes later a car full of nuns drives by them on the highway with a sign on there car that says "Jesus Saves" , the prostitutes tell the cop to go arrest the nuns because they have a sign on there car. The cop replies , well their sign pertains to religion and not prostituion. He gives them the tickets and go's on his way. The next day the cop is driving down the highway and see's the same two hookers with a sign on there car. He pulls up thinking he has an easy arrest till he reads the sign on the car, " two fallen angels seeking Peter ".
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The Liverpool manager flies to Kabul to watch a young Afghani play football. He is suitably impressed and arranges for the player to come over.
Two weeks later Liverpool are 2-0 down to Newcastle with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Afghani striker the nod, and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation. He scores 3 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool . The fans are delighted, the players and the coach are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.
‘Hello mum, guess what?’ he says ‘I played for 20 minutes today, we were 2 - 0 down but I scored 3, they call it a hat-trick, and we won.
Everybody loves me, the fans, the press, they all love me.’ ‘Just wonderful,’ says his mum, ‘Let me tell you about my day …
Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and assaulted, she would have been rареd but for a passing police vehicle.
Your brother has joined a local gang of looters and set fire to some buildings and all while you tell me that you were having a great time!!’
The young lad is very upset. ‘What can I say mum, but I’m really sorry.’
Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!’ says his mum. ‘It’s your вlооdy fault we came to Liverpool in the first place!’
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