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Вицове за секс, 18+ English Sexwitze, Sex-Witze, 18 +, Org... Chistes y anécdotas Sexo, 18 +... Русский Blagues de Sex - +18 ans Barzellette su Sesso Σεξουαλικα ανεκδοτα Секс Türkçe Анекдоти про Секс 18+, Анекдот... Português Dowcipy i kawały: Seks 18+ Svenska Seks moppen 18+, Moppen over l... Sex jokes Sex-vitser Seksivitsit Szex viccek Româna Anekdoty a vtipy o sexu a milo... Lietuvių Anekdotes par seksu Seks, Seksi vicevi, Sex
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Sex Jokes

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I was kissing a bird on my sofa last night.
As she reached down and unzipped my jeans I said, “I’d stand back for this if I was you.”
“Ooh, I’m in for a night of pleasure,” she smiled. “Big, is it?”
“No,” I replied. “I’m about to сuм.”
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I was sat opposite a woman вrеаsт-feeding her son on the bus this morning.
I leaned over and quietly said, “Excuse me, don’t you think that’s a bit inappropriate in public?”
The woman replied, “Not at all. It’s completely natural.”
Then her son popped his head up and said, “Yeah, so рiss off.”
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If sеx is a pain in the аss, then you're doing it wrong ...
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A lady goes to see her doctor and says, “Doc, my back really hurts when I have sеx.” …
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The doctor says, “Which position do you use?” …
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The lady says, “We always do it doggie style.” ….
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The doctor says, That’s your problem. Try using the missionary position.”
She says, “I can’t do that. My dog has terrible breath.”
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Whenever I have sеx with my girlfriend, I let out loud, deep breaths.
I used to feel embarrassed about it, but she told me that sighs doesn’t matter.
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After a night of drink, drugs and wild sеx, I woke up to find myself next to a really ugly woman.
That’s when I realised I had made it home safely.
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Fleas can jump up to twenty times their own height.
When I tried to put my соск in my wife’s аrsе, I found out she could as well.
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Girls are like universities.
I spend hours looking at them, only to realise I can’t get into any of them.
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This kid walks into a general store one day and asks for a job. The owner tells him that he doesn’t need any help. The kid is persistent so the guy tells him to watch him when the next customer comes in. If he can do what he does, he’ll give him a job.
A few minutes later a customer comes in. “Good afternoon sir. What can I do for you?” The guy says, “I need some grass seed.” So the owner goes and gets it. When he gets back he says, “How about a lawn mower to go with this.”
“What do I need a lawn mower for?”
“Well when the grass grows your going to need something to cut it with.”
“Yea, OK, I’ll take a lawn mower too.” After the customer was gone, the owner turned to the kid and said, “That’s how it’s done. Can you do that?” The kid said, “Sure.”
So the next customer comes in and says, “I need some Tampax.” The kid says, “Yes sir.”, and goes after them. When he gets back he says, “Would you like a lawn mower to go with that?” The guy says, “What the hеll do I need a lawn mower for?” The kid replies, “You might as well cut the grass. Your weekend is shot, that’s for sure…..”
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The Scarecrow didn’t have the brains, Tin Man didn’t have the heart, and the Lion didn’t have the courage.
So Dorothy remained a virgin.
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1. Woke up
2. Went to crush's house
3. Got a вlоwjов by her
4. Had sеx with her
5. Went to sleep BTW The Order Is 5,2,3,4,1?
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I think sеx is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
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What's the difference between yo momma and a washing machine?
When I drop a load in the washing machine, it doesn't follow me around for a week.
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At a session with a marriage counsellor, the wife snapped at me:
“That’s not true! I do enjoy sеx!”
Then, turning to the counsellor, she said:
“But this ANIMAL here expects it three or four times a year!”
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Any skirt looks good on the back of the chair.
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Premium rate sеx lines…
The one time premature еjасulатiоn isn’t a problem.
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In the attic, I found an old copy of the 1977 Radio Times, or as its called now, The Sеx Offenders Register.
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Sеx to a man is like hunger. If he can't get into an expensive French restaurant, he will go to McDonalds.
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