This construction worker had climbed 20 stories to the job site. Once there he’d asked the foreman if he could go back down to take a leak.
Not wanting to lose the time, the foreman balanced on I-beam across another, stood on one end, and told the worker to walk out to the other end to рее.
While the worker was doing his business, the phone rang. The foreman, forgetting what he was doing, stepped off the I-beam and the worker plunged 20 stories to his death.
The next week the safety inspectors came by to conduct a routine investigation into the accident. They talked to the ground crew.
“I think it was sеx-related,” offered one of the crew.
“Sеx releated? How do you figure that?” said the investigator.
“Well, what made me look up was this guy coming down, diск in his hand, screaming, ‘where did that соскsuскеr go???'”
On their way to a classical music concert, a mother and daughter board the NY subway. “Look over there,” the mother says, “the man with the big suitcase. That’s the musician we are going to see in concert tonight!” Just as the mother speaks, the man reaches into his suitcase and pulls out a shiny violin. …
…
The musician stands up. “Excuse me,” he says, “but I need to practice for my concert, I hope you don’t mind.”
The people sitting around him grumble an incoherent response. “Thank you,” he says. Then he bends down and whispers into his suitcase, “You guys can come out now.”
Two completely nакеd little people, a little man and a little woman, climb out of the suitcase. The musician looks at them and says, “90 please.” At which point the little people immediately begin to make passionate love.
“Oh my gosh!” The mother screams.
Fwap, fwap, fwap, comes the rhythmic sound of the little people’s lоvемакing to a stunned crowd. Then the musician begins to play. His violin sings of sadness and loss, love and beauty, and by the time the song is over nearly everyone has tears in their eyes.
For a moment, there is complete silence. Then thunderous applause fills the train.
The mother and daughter approach the musician. “That was incredible,” the mother says, “but…do you need the midgets having sеx? There are children here!”
The musician reaches down and rests his hand proudly on the nакеd little man’s shoulder, “Of course! This is the best fuскing metro gnome I could find.”