Single People Joke

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A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther. He stuck his thumb out, but after three hours he hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he got to going too fast to honk the horn on his bike and he would slow down.
Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes--both going well over 120 mph--blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to another officer that he had two Corvettes heading his way at over 120 mph.
He then relayed, "And you're not going to believe this, but there's guy on a 10-speed bike honking to pass!"
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A salesman checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He was single so he got to thinking about some female company. He thought he’d get one of those girls you see advertised in phone books from one of the “еsсоrт” services. He picked a number and dialed it. A woman answered, “Hello?”
“Hi, I hear you do escorts and massages and I’d like you to come to my hotel room and give me a massage. And after that I want sеx! In fact I want jungle sеx . . . wild, crazy hanging-from-the-chandelier type sеx! I’m talking кinкy, the whole night, you name it we’ll do it! Bring all kinds of sеx toys too! I don’t care what they are, you can use them on me! You can even tie me up and then cover me in whipped cream! Now how does that sound?” he asked. The woman said, “Interesting sir, but for an outside line, you must press “9” first.”
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