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Newest jokes
United airlines jokes
United airlines jokes
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Newest jokes
Most popular
Sean Spicer is just trying to distract us from United Airlines which was a distraction from Pepsi which was a distraction from Russia.
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I wish that United Airlines employee would forcefully remove Trump from the White House.
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Hey United Airlines, we’ll take your 1960s dress code seriously when you stop charging $15 for a sandwich that tastes like regret.
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United Airlines better call in an expert to help them cover up the мurdеr of a dog.
Hey, Mike Huckabee! You up?
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United: You don't need a window seat to see stars.
#NewUnitedAirlinesMottos
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United Airlines is requiring all their employees to be vaccinated against the coronavirus.
Now they just need to protect their employees from their passengers.
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Americans should unite in our hatred of United Airlines.
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United Airlines says any employee who doesn't get vaccinated by Sept 27 will be terminated or put on unpaid leave.
Remember that flight attendant spiel "Your safety is our number 1 priority?"
United's actually acting like it.
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Okay, Ted Cruz's United flight 1015 just landed at Houston Intercontinental Airport. How many reporters are waiting along with his driver outside customs?
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British Airways passengers hit with delays after IT failure. United Airlines offers to beat the shiт out of them for free.
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At Bozeman airport, a United Airlines reservations agent called in a police officer to deal with Ted Cruz being verbally abusive.
Maybe Senate Judiciary chair Diск Durbin should consider doing the same.
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United Airlines pilot reiterating mask rule.
"Wear it except eating or drinking. And no that does not mean putting a water bottle on your tray for 4 hours and claiming you are drinking."
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Get Rich or Die Flying
#NewUnitedAirlinesMottos
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Snitches get stitches. And so do our economy class passengers.
#NewUnitedAirlinesMottos
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"Can someone drag me United style off this gоddамn plane?"
- Passengers on flight where Kenny G gave an impromptu performance.
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United Airlines flight attendant:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, as you are all now painfully aware, our Captain has landed in Seattle. From all of us at United Airlines we'd like to thank you for flying with us today and please be very careful as you open the overhead bins as you may be killed by falling luggage that shifted during our so called "touch down."
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Did you catch wind of the honor United Airlines just got?
They were casted a ballot best in Chinese takeaway!
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Things that will get you commenced a United Airlines flight:
1)Wearing tights.
2)Having a United Airlines ticket.
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