USA

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America's First Law of Motion:
An object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object tends to stay at rest, unless an external force acts upon the object.
Meaning
America tends to go its way unless acted upon by Osama.
America's Second Law of Motion:
The acceleration of a body is proportional to the force applied on it.
Meaning
The number of sleeping pills an American takes is directly proportional to the number of video tapes Osama releases.
America's Third Law of Motion:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Meaning
For every death of an American, there is a death of an afghan.

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Flights with Aer Lingus to USA from Dublin for £50.
Use of the toilet £300.

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When interviewers asked USA presidential candidate Gary (“Aleppo”) Johnson to find Syria on a map, he showed them a piece of sandpaper.

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An Irishman goes into a bar in America and orders three whiskeys. The barman asks:
“Would it be better for if I put all three shots in one glass?” …
…
The Irishman replies:
“No! I have two other brothers back home in County Cork, so every time I come into a pub, I order a shot for them both.”
The following week, the Irishman orders just two whiskeys.
The barman asks:
“Did something happen one of your brothers?”
“Oh no,” replies the Irishman. “Me New Year’s resolution was to quit drinking!”

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So, Donald Trump has chosen Mickey Pence as his vice-president….
…. Not even Walt Disney could’ve imagined that one day Mickey and Donald would be running America!!

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On a scale of North Korea to America, how free are you tonight?

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For the record USA….
Today is 9/11.

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I was reading about former baseball stars in America, and apparently Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig’s disease.
What are the odds?

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