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Вицове за USA English Amerikaner-Witze, Amerika Witz... Español Анекдоты про США Français Barzellette su Americani, Barz... Ελληνικά Амерички Türkçe Анекдоты про США Português Polski Svenska Nederlands Dansk Norsk Amerikkalaisvitsit, Amerikkala... Amerika viccek Româna Čeština Lietuvių Latviešu Hrvatski
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Some of you may die, but it is a sасrifiсе i am willing to make.
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When no one has thanked you today
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A day after California legalized marijuana
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Make the Galaxy GREAT again.
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18 годишен: Може ли да купя бутилка вино?
18 years old: Can I buy a bottle of wine?
USA: No, that's illegal & irresponsible!
18 years old: Can I go $50,000 into debt for education?
USA: We encourage it!
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Ερωτήσεις.... Οι μέθοδοι του Προέδρου Μπους Μπους Jr Джордж Буш посетил едно училище Ο George Bush jr επισκέπτεται ένα νηπιαγωγείο και αρχίζ ει να μιλάει στα παιδάκια για το πόσο μεγάλη είναι η Αμερική Auf einer Propaganda-Tournee durch Amerika besucht Präsident George Bush eine Schule und erklärt dort den Schülern seine Regierungspolitik. Danach bittet er die Kinder George Bush kwam nekeer in een school op bezoek George Bush skal holde foredrag om krigen George Bush skal i en skole holde et foredrag om krigen. Efter hans indlæg tilbyder han en spørgerunde. En lilledreng rækker hånden i vejret og Bush... George W. Bush se rend dans une école primaire pour parler aux enfants du conflit armé au Proche-Orient. Après son discours George Bush was benieuwd of hij nog een beetje poplair was onder de amerikaanse jeugd en bezocht een school. Hij hield een korte toespraak en vroeg de kinderen of ze misschien vragen aan hem wilden... Il presidente George Bush vuole aumentare la sua popolarità. Arriva in una scuola elementare e spiega il suo piano di governo. Chiede nel frattempo che i bambini facciano delle domande. Il piccolo... Presidentti George W. Bush vieraili propagandakierroksellaan eräässä koulussa. Hän selosti politiikkaansa oppilaille ja sen jälkeen sana oli vapaa. Oppilaat saivat esittää kysymyksiä. Pikku Bob... George Bush bir ilkokulu ziyaret eder. Cocuklara: - Sorusu olan var mi? der. ve kücük Bob sözü alir. - Benim üc sorum olucak: 1- Secimlerde daha az oy almaniza ragmen nasil olduda Baskan oldunuz?... En una ocasión Felipe Calderón llega a la escuela de Pepito y entra en su salón
After giving a speech at an elementary school, President Bush allows the kids to ask a few questions. One little boy, Billy, gathers the courage to raise his hand and asks:
"How come you invaded Iraq without the support of the U.N.?"

Just as Bush begins to answer, the recess веll rings and he says they´ll continue afterward. Half an hour later the kids come back inside.
"Where were we?" says George. "Oh, yes - does anyone want to ask me anything?"

A different boy raises his hand and says, "I have three questions: First, why did you invade Iraq without support from the U.N.?
Why did the recess веll go off 20 minutes early?
And third, where the heck is Billy?"
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J'ai attrapé Saddam Hussein. J'ai attrapé Osama biu Laden. J'ai attrapé le covid-19
I caught Saddam Hussein! I caught Osama Bin Laden I caught Covid19
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Анкета Τελικά η έρευνα απέτυχε παταγωδώς. Η αιτία; Ερώτηση στον ΟΗΕ... ООН проведе глобална световна анкета с въпрос: Υπόλοιπος κόσμος A ONU resolveu fazer uma pesquisa em todo o mundo. Enviou uma carta para o representante de cada país com a pergunta: "Por favor Die UNO hat eine weltweite Umfrage durchgeführt. Die Frage lautete: "Geben sie uns bitte ihre ehrliche Meinung zur Lösung der Nahrungs-Knappheit im Rest der Welt ab." Die Umfrage stellte sich Światowy Ruch Przetrwania postanowił przeprowadzić sondaż zadając ludziom następujące pytanie: - Powiedz proszę La ONU acaba de finalizar la encuesta mundial más grande de su historia. La pregunta única fue: - Por favor FN skickade ut en enkät om hur man skulle kunna lösa bristen på mat i världen. Frågan löd: - Ge oss din ärliga åsikt om hur en lösning på bristen på mat i övriga världen skulle kunna se ut. Den...
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
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A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies “we did, but no one liked it.”
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What was Osama Bin Laden’s favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
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Two fish walked in to a wall one said to the other “dam”
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An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one рuff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ¨You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?¨ The Cuban simply says, ¨See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap.¨ The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ¨Oh, OK.¨
The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vоdка and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vоdка bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ¨You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vоdка! How could you?¨ The Russian simply states, ¨See, in Russia, vоdка is very cheap.¨ Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ¨Ah, yes! Of course.¨
The American scratches his head and goes, ¨I think I see the pattern here.¨ So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!¨
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Wonder why the British are so good at chess?
They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess?
They lost two towers.
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What’s an abreviation for school in America
Shooting range
Jokes just as dead as the victims
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An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, ¨You look like a million pounds!¨ The wife divorced him.
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In 2016, Americans took Orange is the new Black to a whole other level
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If you’re American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?
European.
What are you on your way to the bathroom?
Russian
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- Mommie, what is a Canadian? - It's an unarmed North American with health insurance, sweetie
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