Vagina Jokes, Pussy Jokes
A little boy & a little girl are playing doctor behind a barn.
They are both bear вuтт nакеd.
The little boy's mom comes around the corner, and catches them.
She grabs her son by the arm, and drags him to the house.
Spanking him the whole way.
When they get back to the house she sits him down, and says to the little boy "don't be messing' with those little girls vaginas.
They got teeth down there, and they'll bit off anything that get near it.
"Well the little boy grows up still thinking' this.
He gets to high school.
He falls in love. 17 Years old, and still a virgin.
Now he's 21, and he asks he's girl friend to marry him.
Still a virgin. He's 24, it's he's wedding night, and he's still a virgin.
They go on there honey moon, and now their in bed.
Their foolin' around. When he gets off he rolls over and turns off the light.
His wife says " wy, wy, wy, just a minute aren't we going to have sеx? "
He says "No, my mom done told me about you women, ya'll got teeth in ya'lls vaginas. "
She says "No I don't, if you don't believe me turn on the light and look."
So, he turns on the light and she shows him.
She says "Well?"
He says "No wonder you aint got no teeth, look at the shape your gums are in "
A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels hоrny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sеx, because a dildо should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden реnis from inside. The cashier states that the dildо has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Diск, the door!”
The wooden реnis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly тhrusт itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Diск, the lamp!” The wooden реnis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier’s desk, and once again, begins to тhrusт in and out. “Voodoo Diск, return to your box!” The wooden реnis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid.
The man chooses to buy the wooden реnis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Diск: “The cursed dildо can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!”
The man nods and heads home.
Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sеx toy works, and then leaves for his trip.
A few days later, the wife becomes very hоrny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Diск, my рussy!” The dildо zooms into her vаginа, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildо out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden реnis still inside of her vаginа. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Diск inside of my vаginа and it won’t come out!”
The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief.
“Voodoo Diск my аss, вiтсh.”
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flyin around about six inches above the water. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal.”
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal.”
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal.”
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal.”
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal.”
Then it all happened
The fly dropped six inches
The fish came up and caught the fly
The bear came out and caught the fish
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich
The mouse went for the sandwich
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a рussy gets wet.