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Jokes about Women

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Son : Why is making love so enjoyable.
Father : It is just like the sensation when you are digging your nose with your finger !!
Why do women enjoy sеx more than man
It is because when you dig your nose, your nose feels more comfort than your finger.
Why do women hate it when they get rареd .
It is like when you are walking on the street,someone else come over and dig your no se, do you like it ??
Why woman cannot have sеx when they are having меnsтruатiоn?
If your nose is bleeding, do youstill dig it ??
Why man do not like to wear condoms when they are making love.
Do you like to dig your nose with a glove on your finger.
Why are making love carried out in private?
Will you dig you nose in front of your class? Sтuрid!
What is an оrgаsм ?
The same as sneezing. but the the other way round
Is it true that women love big diскs ?
Ever tried picking your nose with your thumb ?
What’s аnаl sеx?
Picking your ear
Are you digging enough???
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A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.
He said, “I’m doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?”
She said, “Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.”
“And if you don’t mind me asking, what do you use it for?”
“We use it for sеx.”
The researcher was a little taken aback. He said, “Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child’s bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sеx. I admire you for your honesty. Since you’ve been frank so far, would you tell me in what manner you use it for sеx?”
The woman said, “I don’t mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the door кnов and it keeps the kids out.”
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Little Johnny is on a skateboard is being pulled down the sidewalk by his dog, which he’s holding onto by the tail.
A woman stops him saying, “sonny, couldn’t you hold onto him some other way”?
“Yeah, I could,” says the kid. “I could grab him by the ваlls, but I save that for overtaking!”
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Three men wanted to cross a river. They had no idea how to cross it, so one man knelt down on his knees and prayed "Lord give me the power and strength the cross the river." suddenly the man became very strong and swam across the river. The next man thought: if it worked for him, it'll work for me. So he knelt down and prayed "Lord give the skills and the strength to cross the river." the man built a canoe and rowed himself across the river. The last man thought: if it worked for both of them, I know it'll work for me. So he also knelt down and prayed “Lord give me the wisdom and knowledge to cross the river." He turned into a woman and walked across the bridge.
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Before the wedding I have loved all the women on earth, after the wedding one woman less.
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Can anyone in this room explain to me why Tampax needs a website? That's the last place any woman wants to be when she's bleeding.
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I was in small-claims court when I listened in on the case of a woman who held a good job but still had trouble paying her bills on time.
“Can’t you live within your income?” asked the judge.
“No, Your Honor,” she said. “It’s all I can do to live within my credit!”
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To find a woman, you need time and money. Therefore woman=time×money. "Time is money" so time=money. Therefore woman=(money)². "Money is the root of all problems," money=?problems. Therefore woman=(?problems)² so woman=problems.
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One day a woman watching the news saw this lady talking about a car driving on the wrong side of the road during rush hour. The woman realized her husband was driving on that same road! She ran to her phone to call him and tell him what she had seen on the news. When she got a hold of him he replied, “yes there are a lot of them on the wrong the wrong side..."
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With so many layers of clothes in the winters, finding a woman’s inner beauty is extremely challenging…
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Police Officer George with his duty partner woman Police Officer Mary along with their police dog had been assigned to walk a beat.
They had been out only a short time when Mary said :
“Dамn, I was running late this morning I forgot to put on my раnтiеs! It is so uncomfortable without my раnтiеs. We have to go back to the station to get them.”
“We don’t have to go back,” George replied. “Just give the dog one sniff between your legs, and he’ll go fetch them for you.”
Mary lifted her skirt for the dog. After ten seconds of sniffing, the dog took off toward the station house.
Twenty minutes later they heard sirens. Suddenly the dog rounded the corner with a dozen police cars in pursuit - and the superintendent’s ваlls in his mouth!
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A traffic cop stopped a woman for a minor traffic violation. After examining her driver's license in silence for a moment, he said,
"You know something? This is one of the finest, most realistic pictures I've ever seen. I'm glad to see you aren't one of those vain women who have their photos retouched to remove all the lines in their face."
"Sir," she replied icily, "you are looking at my thumb-print."
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Women color their hair, get воов-jobs, plastic surgery, liposuction, wear heels to increase their height…
Then complain that there’s no real men out there.
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Send a man to the store to get 5 items, he will come home with 4. Send a woman to the store to get 5 items she will come home with 54. Its science.
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The first woman on the Moon…
….
“Houston, we have a problem.” …
…
“What?” …
……
“Never mind.” …
….
“What’s the problem?”…
…
“Nothing.” ….
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“Please tell us?” ….
…
“You know what the problem is. Quit playing Twenty Questions with me!”
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I’m all for female priests, finally a group and priests teenage boys can have sеx with willingly.
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Rodeo sеx involves mounting your woman doggy-style and reaching around and taking hold of her вrеаsтs. As you approach оrgаsм, learn forward and whisper into her ear, “Your sister likes this way the best,” then try to stay mounted for eight seconds.
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Just remember, behind every angry woman there is a man with absolutely no fuскing clue about what the hеll he’s done wrong.
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