Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The mind numbing question is: Who was the survivor?
Scroll down for the answer…
The perfect woman survived. She’s the only one who really existed
In the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. Women stop reading here. That is the end of the joke.
Men keep’a scrollin’…
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect
Woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a
Car accident.
By the way, if you’re a woman and you’re reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never frickin listen, either.
A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks,
"Do you have any small notebooks?"
"Sorry," says the manager. "We're all out."
The woman shrugs, and asks, "Well, do you have any mechanical pencils?"
"Nope, don't have that either," says the manager.
The woman feels her stomach rumbling and asks, "Do you have Doritos? Nachos?"
The manager shrugs, "Sorry."
"Hmmph. How about Chapstick?" says the woman.
"Nope. Don't have that."
"My God!" the woman shouts, "If you don't have anything, you should close the stinking store!"
The manager shrugs, "Don't have the key."
A man is speeding down the freeway when he's stopped by a police car and has to pull over. "Do you realize you were doing 80 m. P. H. in a 60 m. P. H. zone, sir?" asks the policeman.
"That's impossible, sir, I never break the speed limit," replies the driver. The driver's wife butts in and says,
"Yes, you do, I'm always telling you to keep your speed down."
The policeman says,
"I also noticed, sir, that you didn't have your seatbelt on. You put it on as I was walking over to your car."
"That is not true, sir; I always wear my seatbelt," replies the driver.
"No, you don't, I'm always telling you to put your seatbelt on," says the driver's wife.
"Sтuрid woman," the driver explodes, "can't you, just for once, keep that big, fат trap of yours shut?"
The policeman is a bit shocked by how the driver is speaking to his wife, so he moves around to her side of the car. "Does he often speak to you like this, madam?"
"Oh, no, officer," she says,
"Only when he's drunк."
Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell “naughty” stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest.
The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time. Then, halfway through the lecture, he began.”They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France.”
The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door.
“Young ladies,” said the professor with a broad smile, “the next plane doesn’t leave till tomorrow afternoon.