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Is so fат when she steps on the scale, it goes:
"We don't do livestock".

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Is so fат, she’s round even in Minecraft.

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Until
Was born, whales had no natural enemies.

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You know why
Has such a flat head in the back?
Because the toilet cover keeps falling on her head when she’s drinking.

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Is so hideous, she once went to a hair salon and told the hairdresser to cut her hair - and then she opened her blouse!

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The zoo called. They want
Back.

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So big, she was born between the 13th and 17th December.

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When
Farts, the volcano says impressed: Holy Smokes!!

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Is so old her birth certificate is made out in Roman numerals.

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If somebody were to light up one of
Farts, that would be the end of all life on Earth.

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Works for Weight Watchers as the "Before" picture.

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So fат she uses a boomerang to get her belt on.

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When
Goes to the zoo, she throws feces at the apes.

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Is so fат, when she falls down in Wyoming, a bike falls down in China.

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So fат, when she falls on her back, she’s still the same height as before.

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So fат, Ebola wouldn't know where to start.

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Buys the All You Can Eat Menu twice.

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So ugly, when she sits down on a sandy beach, cats try to bury her.

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