Boob Jokes

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Where does a waitress wear a bikini?
In a breastaurant.

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I was once slapped in the face by a girl with 12 niррlеs.
Sounds weird, dozen тiт?

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The mattress company has come out with a line of вrеаsт implants.
They’re filled with mammary foam.

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“If they could bottle how good it feels to take off your вrа, that would sell for more than any expensive wine.” — @randomnloveit/Twitter
I joined the local swim class.
The breaststroke was not what I thought it would be.

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I met a guy who could remember every вrеаsт he’d ever seen.
He had a photographic mammary.

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I think breastfeeding in public is unfair.
I was always taught that if you didn’t bring enough food for everyone, you shouldn’t take it out.

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If you shame a girl for her вrеаsт size, I’ll push you into traffic.
Who’s flat now?

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Why did the rooster hide the menu from his wife?
He was looking at the chicken вrеаsт.

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“Push me aside, but I will come back. Hide me, but I will always emerge. I AM POWER. I AM RESILIENCE. I AM A ВRА STRAP.” — @MaraWilson/Twitter
Two friends are hanging out when one looks at the other and says, “You’re a воов.”
Offended, the second friend said, “Why’d ya say that?” Smirking, the first friend replied, “Oh, c’mon — I’m just tittin’.”

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Two girlfriends are hanging out when one spills coffee on her shirt. The other girlfriend grabs a paper towel and goes to hand it to her friend, but she trips and elbows her bestie right in the воов. “Ouch! That really hurt!” the first friend exclaims. To which the other replied, “I’m so sorry. I had the вrеаsт intentions.”
Having воовs is sort of like having two toddlers hanging out in your вrа.
They never stay put when they’re supposed to, are always getting attention (whether you want them to or not), and they’re happiest when they’re free to roam.

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“The ones you keep closest to your heart hurt you the most. Like the underwire in my вrа that tried to stab me.” — @JesKeepSwimming/Twitter
An elephant asked a camel, “Why are your вrеаsтs on your back?”
“Well,” says the camel, “I think that’s a strange question from somebody whose wiener is on his face.”

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“Just slung my вrа off and threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already two other bras. If my math is right, it’s Wednesday.” — @JessObsess/Twitter
I’m working on a niррlе joke.
I’ll post it after I tweak it a bit.

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Alright, ladies, it’s Breastfeeding Awareness week.
It’s time to milk it!

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?
Thanks for the mammaries!

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I understand the doctor needs to examine my wife’s воовs, but at the dinner table, it’s just rude.
Flat-chested women have the best attitudes because they’ve already gotten everything off their chest.

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What do you call that patch of hair between an old ladys тiтs?
Her snатсh.

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Dамn it's freezing in here

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I think i downloaded the wrong star trek movie

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