There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand.
It being hot and him being thirsty, he decided to stop.
Once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cents," and a single, very small glass. Well, he thought that it was an awful small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all you can drink, he decided to get some anyway.
He gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig.
He slapped the glass back onto the table and said, "fill 'er up."
The kid replieds, "Sure thing, that'll be 10 cents."
To this the business man said, "But your sign says all you can drink for a dime."
"It is," the little boy replies, "That's all you can drink for a dime."
A man walks into a bar one night.
He goes up to the bar and asks for a вееr.
"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."
"One penny?!", exclaimed the guy.
The barman replied: "Yes!"
So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks: "Could I have a nice juicy T-воnе steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?"
"Certainly, sir", replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money."
"How much money?", inquires the guy.
"Four cents", he replies.
"Four cents?!", exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman replies: "Upstairs with my wife."
The guy says: "What's he doing with your wife?"
The bartender replies: "Same as what I'm doing to his business."
"Yes brother," says Раddy.
"Well I'm going on a business trip soon and if she gives birth while I'm away, I want you dear brother, to name the kids," says Мiск.
"It'll be an honour to do that for you Мiск," says Раddy.
A month later Раddy calls Мiск.
"Hello Мiск, your wife's given birth to a boy and a girl, their beautiful," says Раddy.
"That's wonderful Раddy, what did you call them?" says Мiск.
"I called the girl Deniece," says Раddy.
"And what did you call the boy?"
"I called the boy De nephew."
Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the border.
They went to Casa del Sol, Mexico, built a huge platform, and opened for business.
By noon the first day, they both noticed that while everyone was watching, no one was buying tickets.
Jack told John to go up and jump, so everyone could see how much fun it was, and then they would buy tickets and try it.
John jumped, almost reached the ground, and sprang back up.
Jack saw that his shirt was torn and his hair was mussed.
John came down again and sprang back up.
This time he had several bruises and his clothes were ripped to shreds.
The third time down and back up, and he had several open wounds, a broken arm, and was bruised over most of his body.
Jack quickly raised John to the platform and asked him what in the world was going on.
John replied, "I’m not sure. Do you know what 'pinata' means?"
Bob walks into a public bathroom and notices a guy with no arms standing next to a urinаl. As Bob takes care of his business, he wonders how the poor soul is going to take a leak. Bob finishes and heads for the door, but figures he should ask the man if he needs help.
''Oh yes please!?" the man cries. "You have a kind heart, sir,'' says the man with no arms.
But as Bob goes ahead, unzips the man, and pulls his willy out, he encounters all kinds of mold, red bumps, moles, scabs, scars, and other unpleasant-looking things. The armless man asks Bob to kindly point it... then shake it, put it back and zip it. So Bob, gathers his courage, shuts his eyes and does so.
''Thank you very much, sir!'' says the armless man.
''No problem,'' says Bob ''but what the hеll is wrong with your реnis?''
The guy pulls pulls his arms out of his shirt and says ''I don't know, but I ain't touching it!"
Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and Jerry Sanders (CEOs of MicroSoft, Intel, and AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting.
During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting.
Bill says, “Oh, that’s my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I need to take this call.”
So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie.
After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him.
Bill explains, “Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way I can take a call anywhere.”
The others nod and the meeting continues.
Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping.
He states, “Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call.”
So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air.
When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, “I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth.”
The others nod, and the meeting continues.
Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Jerry emits a thunderous fаrт.
He looks up at the others staring at him and says, “Somebody get me a piece of paper… I’m receiving a FAX."