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Dad Jokes

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Unterhalten sich zwei Wände Τι λέει ένας τοίχος στον άλλο; Sagt die eine Wand zur anderen Wand: "Wir treffen uns an der Ecke!" Que dit un mur à un autre mur? On se rencontre au coin? - Vad sa den ena väggen till den andra? - Vi möts i hörnet... Hvad sagde den ene væg til den anden? – Vi mødes ved hjørnet? Hva sa den ene veggen til den andre? Svar: Vi møtes på hjørnet. Co mówi jedna ściana do drugiej? - Spotkamy się na rogu. Vad säger de två väggarna till varandra när de ska ha ett möte? Vi möts i hörnet. Two walls meet at the corner.
Two walls arrange a date – “Let's meet at the corner.”
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Working in a crematorium, you can never urn a living.
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What do you do when the phone rings and you get a private caller?
Don't answer that. Pick up for ranks Lieutenant and higher only.
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They are testing a revolutionary new blender, but they’re getting mixed results.
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A single glance tells me if somebody is lying. It’s the fact that they’re horizontal that gives it away.
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Did you know that UPS and Fedex are going into a merger? They will be called Fed-Ups now.
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Not even orcas dare attack an octopus.
It’s too well armed.
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I wanted to wear my camouflage jeans today but I just couldn’t find them.
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Cannibals aren’t very sociable. They’re all fed up with people.
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I don’t know why people have a problem with wigs. It’s a look anybody can pull off!
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Two cows meet, one says,
"Mooooo!"
The other one is offended, "Hey, I just wanted to say that!"
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Two penguins meet. One says, “Jesus it is cold today."
The other hisses, “Shut up. Penguins can’t talk.”
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Chiste de las dos plabras que abren puertas La gran lección del padre de Jaimito Запомни тези 2 думи Remember these two words. They will open up the doors in your life. Push and pull. Sólo hay dos palabras en el mundo que te abrirán muchas puertas. Jale y empuje. Ay solo 2 palabras que te Abren las puertas cuales Son jale y empuje
Do you know the most important words that could open a lot of doors in your life?
Push and Pull.
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I’ve never liked speed bumps much. But I’m getting over it slowly.
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Have you heard there was a kidnapping at the school?
[No]
But it’s fine now, the kid woke up again.
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I was a doctor for a while but then I quit. I simply didn’t have enough patience.
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Little Petra asks her dad at breakfast time, “Daddy, can you please teach me how to make eggs?”
Dad shakes his head, “Nope.”
“But why daddy? I want to learn!“
The dad winks at her, “I can’t teach you how to make eggs because I’m not a hen.”
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I saw an expiration day on an anti-aging cream. Now that’s just a scam!
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