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I'm not a confrontational guy. I don't like confrontation. I don't know if you can tell, but I have the build of a victim.

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Ad: Donate just one dollar and you can save a child's life. Yeah, well you just spent like $1,000 dollars for this ad. Good job.

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You see all these mafia movies; Italians are always portrayed as angry, violent people. That's not right. As far as we Italians are concerned -- hey, listen, we don't hurt people, but people get hurt, you know? Accidents happen! You walk outside, trip and fall on an ice pick, six or seven times, you know? Right away, they blame Vinny. That's not right.

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You can't compare the gаy struggle to the black struggle. You can't do that. First of all, y'all got a closet that you can come in and out of whenever you feel like it. Black people, we ain't got no closet that we can come in and out of. You can't get pulled over by the police at midnight like, 'Oh, I'd better stay in the closet; I don't want to get my аss beat.'

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Funny Silly What about Willy
Me
OK I'm done no what
Yahoo Run Book Dooonnneeee

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So, I've been temping at the job that laid me off. And that's awkward because everybody knows I got canned, and they think I've come back to shoot them.

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Me: hey its Miley Cyrus!
Friend: oh yah......... why is she with your mom?
Me: she told me she's going to audition to be Miley Cyrus wrecking ball.
Friend: that explains alot

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If u hate Donald Trump vote kick ass
I mean what freak stops a civilisation Look at his(sarcastically) "well thought plan to stop Muslims from entering America, " Police will ask them if they r Muslims"
Ever heard of lying genius!

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You ever notice when you shoot someone with a gun, they do two things that are really annoying? It's true. They tell you that you shot them, over and over again -- I hate that -- and then they tell you where you shot them, over and over again. They're like, 'You shot my shoulder! I can't believe you shot my shoulder! My shoulder's been hit!' And I'm like, 'That's where I was aiming.'

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Difference between Indian Movies and American
Movie :
-
American movies :
1. Chinese have nothing better to do than
Teaching or practice Kung Fu.
2. More than 50% of U. S. population are FBI/
CIA agents, working undercover.
3. The purpose of school system of U. S. is to
Promote basketball.
4. Aliens have special interest in attacking U. S.
5. U. S. is a place where you can meet all
Mythical creatures like were wolves and vampires.
.
.
Indian movies :
1. At least one of the identical twins is born evil.
2. While defusing a bomb, do not worry,
Whichever wire you cut u'll always choose the
Right".
3. A hero will show no pain, while getting beaten
Up,
But will show pain when a girl cleans up his
Wound.
4. A detective can solve a case only when he is
Suspended from duty.
5. If you decide to start dancing on the street,
Everyone you meet will know the steps.

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Kickass if you are a man, lame if you are a woman

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Why are these kids bringing all these guns to school? And the parents never know:
'Oh, we had no idea. We didn't know.' How could you not know that your kids are making 30 pipe bombs in the garage? My dad knew if I broke wind in the backyard.

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I was at the mall with my grandmother, and there were these two giant thugs in front of us. And one of them turns to the other and starts bragging about how, earlier in the week, he had robbed a convenience store and was stomping on the cashier's head. At this point, my grandmother turns to me and says loud enough for him to hear, 'We should report him.' That's when my quick wit and intellect kicks in, and I realize I need to make sure that he does not think that we are talking about him. So I turn to my grandmother, and I say, 'Вiтсh, I don't know you.'

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The idea of a rock star making your child кill themselves is so ludicrous. I've enjoyed rock 'n' roll since I was a kid. When I was a kid, I worshiped The Beatles. I thought the Beatles were gods, but if they were to come up to me, personally, and said, 'You know, Paulie, George, Ringo and I were thinking you should кill yourself.' It's like, 'Yeah, I think there's a new Stones album out right now.'

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How do you make a fат kid cry?
Shoot his feet

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Dear friend,
Aliens are coming to earth this friday,
And there mission is to abduct all good looking people
Don't worry, you'll be safe!

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All the fun of suicide -- without that messy death at the end.

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Two men were talking about a friend who had recently passed away.
"By the time Jack died, he had a transplanted heart, a plastic hip joint, a plastic leg and a plastic arm."
"Where did they bury him?'"
"They didn't bury him -- he was recycled!"

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